Abandonment issues are a form of anxiety that occurs when an individual has a strong fear of losing loved ones. People with abandonment issues can have difficulties in relationships. They may exhibit symptoms such as codependency, clinginess, or manipulative behavior.
Abandonment issues stem from a fear of loneliness, which can be a phobia or a form of anxiety. These issues can affect your relationships and often stem from a childhood loss. Other factors that turn loss into abandonment issues include environmental and medical factors, genetics, and brain chemistry.
Abandonment fear often stems from childhood loss. This loss could be related to a traumatic event, such as the loss of a parent through death or divorce. It can also come from not getting enough physical or emotional care. These early childhood experiences can lead to a fear of being abandoned by others later in life.
If your feelings are hurt, you feel betrayed, abandoned, or rejected, and your partner doesnt care or minimizes them, thats a red flag. You should also be wary if you notice a pattern of lying or half-truths about other issues.
Abandonment can cause deep attachment wounds, significantly affecting many aspects of life including our subsequent relationships. Studies also show that experiences of abandonment, particularly in childhood, are correlated with poor mental health later in life. But it is possible to heal from abandonment issues.
People experiencing emotional abandonment may feel at a loss. They may feel like they have been cut off from a crucial source of sustenance or feel withdrawn, either suddenly or through a process of erosion. Emotional abandonment can manifest through loss or separation from a loved one.
Self-Neglect and Self-Destructive Behaviors
Women with childhood abandonment wounds will have episodes of neglecting themselves, taking care of everyone and anyone but themselves. They may also act out, drink too much, take unnecessary risks or throw caution to the wind in a way that is clearly self-harming.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT helps increase consciousness of feelings about certain life events. It may help a person with abandonment issues shift how they perceive events that cause fear. They may then restructure how they think about these events.
Like other forms of trauma, post-traumatic stress of abandonment specifically can also contribute to eating disorders. Individuals who have experienced past abandonment trauma situations are more likely to have self-harming behaviors, low self-esteem and feelings of self-worth, as well as a need for a sense of control.
The natural folds in abandonment's grief process fall into five universal stages: Shattering, Withdrawal, Internalizing, Rage, and Lifting. These stages overlap one another as part of one inexorable process of grief and recovery.
Borderline personality disorder is characterized by a pervasive pattern of instability in relationships, self-image, moods, and behavior and hypersensitivity to possible rejection and abandonment. People with borderline personality disorder fear rejection and abandonment, partly because they do not want to be alone.
Fear of abandonment is not a distinct mental health condition. Instead, it is a type of anxiety that can manifest itself in different ways. For example, some people who fear abandonment may feel generally insecure in relationships and need frequent reassurance from their partner.
The need to feel loved and the fear of the being abandoned can lead to these toxic relationships lasting far longer than they should. It can be difficult to trust people when you've been let down in the past, even when that let down was accidental or non-intentional, the feelings that result are the same.
Attachment styles are developed during infancy and early childhood, and an insecure attachment style can lead to a fear of abandonment in adulthood. Abandonment issues may be caused by childhood abuse, neglect, or environmental stressors, such as growing up in poverty or living in a dangerous area.
The trauma of abandonment leaves an emotional blueprint on the brain. People who suffer from abandonment wounds experience extreme emotional sensitivity to anything that triggers rejection, for example, feeling insignificant, criticized, misunderstood, slighted, excluded, or overlooked.
“Some of the long-term effects of dealing with abandonment issues might include severe difficulty forming relationships with friends or romantic partners, low self-esteem, issues with anger and jealousy, finding it hard to trust partners, and fear of being alone.”
Having a fear of being abandoned can wreak havoc on a person's romantic relationships, where they can come off as “clingy” or become possessive or manipulative as ways of trying to prevent their inevitable fears from surfacing.
Abandonment trauma is the fear or anxiety of people you are close to leaving you. People struggling with abandonment fear may have trouble building healthy relationships.
Don't Pressure Them
You should let your partner with abandonment issues know that you're available to talk and willing to listen. But don't push them to open up if they're not ready. If they get too uncomfortable, they might pull away. You might just want to ask them what you can do to help.
Abandonment issues can be hard to overcome, even with a supportive partner. Don't take your partner's fears personally, and try to refrain from telling them they're being irrational. Instead, gently encourage them to open up about their fears so that you can both work to build a healthier relationship.