A manipulative person might twist what you say and make it about them, hijack the conversation or make you feel like you've done something wrong when you're not quite sure you have, according to Stines.
Manipulators are experts in exaggeration and generalization. They may say things like, “No one has ever loved me.” They use vague accusations to make it harder to see the holes in their arguments. This tactic used by manipulators is meant to poke at your weaknesses and make you feel insecure.
Manipulation is when a person uses controlling and harmful behaviors to avoid responsibility, conceal their true intentions, or cause doubt and confusion. Manipulation tactics, such as gaslighting, lying, blaming, criticizing, and shaming, can be incredibly damaging to a person's psychological well-being.
During a disagreement or fight, a manipulative person will make dramatic statements that are meant to put you in a difficult spot. They'll target emotional weaknesses with inflammatory statements in order to elicit an apology. For example: “If you leave me, I don't deserve to live.”
Emotional manipulation occurs when a manipulative person seeks power over someone else and employs dishonest or exploitive strategies to gain it. Unlike people in healthy relationships, which demonstrate reciprocity and cooperation, an emotional manipulator looks to use, control, or even victimize someone else.
They are afraid of vulnerability. Manipulators seldom express their needs, desires, or true feelings. They seek out the vulnerabilities in others in order to take advantage of them for their own benefits and deflect their true motives. They have no ability to love, empathy, guilt, remorse, or conscience.
Is it best to ignore a manipulator? Yes, you should ignore your manipulator and not react to everything they are saying. They have studied your triggers and expect you to respond to their bait. If you continue ignoring them, they will eventually come around or go away from your life.
When people pretend to ask a question when they are actually making a statement, it is manipulative. For example, “I'm sure you agree?” This is not a trust-building question. It is a statement disguised as a question. Others who hear you say this will realize you have no interest in what they think.
This type of play can also be described as manipulative play. A child uses their hands to manipulate toys and objects to learn about how to use them. This includes construction play, arts and crafts and tool-use (e.g. scissors) and helps to develop eye-hand co-ordination.
"Unintentional manipulation can show up in exaggerating the facts," Silvershein says. "If someone had an early-morning flight that takes off at 8 a.m., they may say their flight is at 6 a.m. since they technically have to leave for the airport at 6 a.m. They know that this story is better and will gain more empathy."
People manipulate others to get what they want. This type of behavior may have a number of causes including interpersonal dynamics, personality characteristics, a dysfunctional upbringing, attachment issues, or certain mental health conditions.
Manipulation is generally considered a dishonest form of social influence as it is used at the expense of others. Manipulative tendencies may derive from personality disorders such as borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, or antisocial personality disorder.
Why do manipulators manipulate? Chronic manipulation is often used as a survival mechanism to cope with a challenging or competitive environment, especially when one lacks relative power and control. Pathological manipulation may also be the result of family, social, societal, or professional conditioning.
The user can manipulate the innocence of a person, making someone innocent of anything or undoing the innocence of someone, or toning it down so that there may be some bad things the target could do.
Basically, the silent treatment is a passive-aggressive behavior by which an abuser communicates some sort of negative message to the intended victim that only the perpetrator and the victim recognize through nonverbal communication.