Betrayal trauma is defined as a trauma perpetrated by someone with whom the victim is close to and reliant upon for support and survival.
Betrayal trauma is a type of trauma that refers to the pain and emotional distress that occurs when a trusted institution, loved one, or intimate partner violates someone's trust. Betrayal trauma may occur alongside things like gaslighting and lead to anxiety and depression.
From Freyd (2008): Betrayal trauma occurs when the people or institutions on which a person depends for survival significantly violate that person' s trust or well-being: Childhood physical, emotional, or sexual abuse perpetrated by a caregiver are examples of betrayal trauma.
Betrayal trauma is a type of psychological trauma that can occur after experiencing a betrayal by a person you trust. If you've been betrayed, you may feel like you're going through the stages of grief: shock and denial, pain and guilt, anger and bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
“The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies, it comes from those you trust the most.” - Author unknown.
The emotional impact of betrayal can range from disappointment in less intense relationships and repulsion due to the lack of integrity of the person who betrayed you to fear of losing a close relationship, especially a romantic connection. Trust is fragile. Regaining trust is difficult, if not impossible.
A betrayed person may experience:
Paranoia. Hypervigilance or feelings that nothing is safe. A sense of inadequacy or embarrassment. Shame or self-blame.
They can be traumatic and cause considerable distress. The effects of betrayal include shock, loss and grief, morbid pre-occupation, damaged self-esteem, self-doubting, anger.
On average, it usually takes between eighteen months to three years to absolutely recover, especially with a lot of help and moral support. There are several steps to take in other to help foster the healing of betrayal trauma in a healthy way.
Even if it doesn't feel like it at the moment, the pain of betrayal will eventually fade, and you'll be able to leave it in the past. The betrayal doesn't have to end your otherwise great relationship, though.
They include shock, denial, obsession, anger, bargaining, mourning, acceptance and recovery. Betrayal trauma parallels the sudden loss of a loved one. While going through the stages of grief is part of the healing journey, the stages are not linear. They can overlap, repeat, and occasionally coincide.
Experiencing betrayal, a form of emotional abuse, can cause various post-traumatic stress disorder. Symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares and impaired sleeping, depression, anxiety, brain fog, distrust, dissociation, are common. Betrayed partners often feel as if their reality has been shaken to its core.
Depending on the individual, betrayals are painful for a variety of reasons. However, betrayal in relationships usually hurts because we often feel that our partner, who is supposed to be closest to us, acted against us and exposed us to pain through their actions. And that is precisely why betrayal hurts so much.
“Symptoms of abandonment trauma can include extreme insecurity or anxiety within a relationship, obsessive or intrusive thoughts of being abandoned, and also debilitating self-esteem or self regard.” When children feel abandoned, it can leave them feeling frightened and unsafe.
Infidelity is the betrayal our society focuses on, but it is actually the subtle, unnoticed betrayals that truly ruin relationships. When partners do not choose each other day after day, trust and commitment erode away.
Betrayal hurts because it reminds us how vulnerable we truly are. None of us like or want to feel vulnerable if we believe we can be hurt. People shun love, avoid relationships, and act inauthentically in order to avoid feeling the pain of what we see as inevitable betrayal.
At the least, betrayal causes shock, loss, anger, and grief; at worst, it can cause anxiety disorders and PTSD (Rachman, 2010).
Experts say it's possible for couples to go on to have a happy relationship after infidelity, provided they're willing to put in the work. “The couple can survive and grow after an affair,” says Coleman.
Betrayal is when someone you trust breaks that trust by doing something that hurts you. This can take many forms, such as a soldier working with the enemy, one family member stealing from another, or a friend spreading rumors about another friend.
There may be many good reasons to be upset at a person close to you who violates your trust. However, it is this sense that you're not valued that may be at the heart of your emotional reaction. Betrayal by people you care about hurts because it destroys your self-esteem.
The healing process after a betrayal is complicated. It can take a long time, and it's rarely linear. For many people, it's hard to simply forgive the person who hurt them and move on as though nothing happened. Forgiveness also often involves another complicating part: Grief & Loss.