Separation and divorce can put enormous pressure on families, especially families with young children. Parental alienation occurs when one parent attempts to eradicate the relationship between the children and the other parent, and it makes this strenuous situation even worse.
Severe alienators are fanatics who are obsessed with hate for their former spouses. Severe alienators are often paranoid, and their paranoia involves projection. The severe alienator sees something in her- or himself and sees the same objectionable characteristic in the targeted parent.
Alienated children typically appear rude, ungrateful, spiteful, and cold toward the targeted parent, and they appear to be impervious to feelings of guilt about their harsh treatment. Gratitude for gifts, favors, or child support provided by the targeted parent is nonexistent.
Narcissistic Parental Alienation syndrome refers to the process of psychological manipulation of a child by a parent to show fear, disrespect, or hostility towards the other parent. Very often, the child can't provide logical reasoning for the difference in their behaviour towards both parents.
Gaslighting is especially common in cases involving parental alienation, but it can be used in plenty of other situations as well.
Anger, guilt, grief, disconnection, and low self-esteem.
Parental alienation is a form of child abuse that we are only beginning to recognize. Technically speaking, it's when a child aligns with one parent and rejects its other parent for reasons that are not warranted.
Children exposed to parental alienating behaviours may develop a confused sense of self-perception and fail to remember how to trust their perceptions and feelings, resulting in an uncertain identity, lack of self-esteem, and deep insecurity [10,15].
Malicious parent syndrome is a childhood disorder that arises almost exclusively in high-conflict divorces with child custody disputes. The alienating parent engages in a pattern of abnormal behavior intended to cause the child to reject the other parent.
This alienation can be mild, moderate, or severe in intensity. In severe cases, the relationship with the rejected/targeted parent is completely severed due to the child's mental condition. Even in mild and moderate alienation, there is damaging disruption in the parent-child relationship.
In most cases, parental alienation backfires, with the child struggling with feelings of loss and resentment towards both parents. Removing the other parent from their life causes the child to feel isolated and neglected, instilling feelings of insecurity.
While these professionals are historically skilled at identifying physical child abuse, they are beginning to identify a more insidious form of emotional child abuse called parental alienation. When this form of abuse is correctly and timely identified, custody evaluators can recommend specific strategies for success.
What is parental alienation? Parental alienation is where a parent does things (you can call it brainwashing, alienating, or programming) to make a child not want to see or even know the other parent.
Narcissistic parental alienation syndrome occurs when a parent with narcissistic traits attempts to maliciously alienate their child from an otherwise loving parent. This is often accomplished by attacking the other parent's character in front of the child.
To stop parental alienation, work to maintain a positive, loving relationship with the child so that the child feels safe with you. Consider speaking with the other parent about behaviors you've noticed. If the alienation continues, consider parenting classes, therapy, and going to the Court for help.
A child who has been alienated against a parent, feels guilt and shame for having been made to take part in acts of hatred against a loved parent, so much so that the feelings impact in a physical as well as emotional, mental and psychological way.
Examples of coercive controlling behaviour used by alienating parents against their children: Pressure the child to feel allegiance/loyalty to them. Pressure/reward the child to reject the targeted parent. Make the child afraid of the targeted parent in the absence of a real threat.
The severe effects of parental alienation on children are well-documented—low self-esteem and self-hatred, lack of trust, depression, and substance abuse and other forms of addiction are widespread, as children lose the capacity to give and accept love from a parent.
Parental alienation does not protect a child's interests—it places them in peril. When a parent's behavior threatens not only your well-being, but also your child's, it is worth doing everything in your power to fight back. If your ex is engaging in such tactics, you should explore every legal option at your disposal.
A gaslighting parent consistently denies or disputes a child's experiences or feelings, making the child doubt their recollection so that they can escape responsibility for their actions1.