If you've ever had your heart broken, been ghosted, or longed for love, you might've experienced lovesicknessLovesickness refers to an affliction that can produce negative feelings when deeply in love, during the absence of a loved one or when love is unrequited. The term "lovesickness" is rarely used in modern medicine and psychology, though new research is emerging on the impact of heartbreak on the body and mind.https://en.wikipedia.org › wiki › Lovesickness
Feeling 'in emotional pain' isn't just you being dramatic. Researchers have discovered that your brain processes emotional upset with the same brain circuitry that processes physical injury. Social psychologist Naomi Eisenberger calls this 'the physical-social pain overlap'.
Well, yes. Loving someone so much that it hurts is possible, and there are reasons why people indulge in that. A major reason why people tend to be loving too much in a relationship is that they don't feel worthy.
Turns out yes, it's normal for love to hurt. And you don't have to be in an abusive relationship for this to happen. In fact, even good relationships can bring some aching discomfort at times. Caring deeply about someone else is enough to transform emotional pain into physical pain — the science says so.
“Obsessive love disorder” (OLD) refers to a condition where you become obsessed with one person you think you may be in love with. You might feel the need to protect your loved one obsessively, or even become controlling of them as if they were a possession.
Consequences of loving someone too much. Loving someone means, you respect each other's boundaries. Loving too much means – you dismantle those boundaries, stop taking care of yourself, and do everything for your partner just to make them happy. You only end up destroying your self-worth and the love is at stake.
People who love too much often keep investing in a relationship that has no chance of surviving, as their beloved does not love them to the same extent. Loving too much may also hurt the beloved. A typical example of this is when the lover does not allow the beloved to enjoy sufficient private space.
Fear of change or unknown: In addition to fears of finding someone else, returning to the life of a single person, and even worrying about what others might think, can make it challenging to take the first steps necessary to stop loving a person.
Seek professional help
It's important to talk about your feelings with others and not numb yourself out. This is easier said than done, and it's totally normal to need some extra help. If you find that your grief is too much to bear on your own, a mental health professional can help you work through painful emotions.
When we hurt someone for no reason, it's because we fear rejection or disconnection from that person. We hope that, by lashing out, they'll show us more love, attention or understanding. As a result, we'll feel 'safer' in the relationship. So, we behave badly because we want to feel 'safe'.
You frequently feel neglected or unappreciated. You can't understand why your loved one isn't as wrapped up in the relationship as you are. Yet even though you feel unappreciated, you keep giving. You are obsessed with the person you love, thinking about him or her constantly.
A truly loving relationship should have communication, affection, trust, appreciation, and mutual respect. If you see these signs, and the relationship is a healthy, honest, nurturing one, you would likely consider your relationship one of true love.
Broken heart syndrome, also known as stress cardiomyopathy or takotsubo syndrome, occurs when a person experiences sudden acute stress that can rapidly weaken the heart muscle.
Some people describe it as a dull ache, others as piercing, while still others experience it as a crushing sensation. The pain can last for a few seconds and then subside, or it can be chronic, hanging over your days and depleting you like just like the pain, say, of a back injury or a migraine.
Love can literally break your heart
Symptoms often mimic those of a heart attack and include shortness of breath, irregular heartbeat, and chest pain.
Personality characteristics and behaviors associated with the inability to let go include innate insecurity and childhood abandonment trauma. By understanding why this happens, many people can learn to choose better partners or become more resilient for when loss is inevitable.
So, how long does it take to get over someone? Well, research suggests you can get over someone in three to six months, longer for a marriage (more on that in a bit).
Signs of Unhealthy Love
The majority of your time together is dedicated to arguments. Much of your time together involves making up after arguments. You don't have time for yourself. You feel possessive about your partner's time.
Infidelity does not mean that the love is gone or never existed. The reality is that you can love someone and still cheat on them. In fact, many affairs happen in relationships that are otherwise very happy.
Toxic love: Total involvement; limited social life; neglect old friends, interests. Love: Encouragement of each other's expanding; secure in own worth. Toxic love: Preoccupation with other's behavior; fear of other changing.
So, what's the underlying cause of these kinds of relationships? According to Behary, toxic relationships often stir up our deepest fears: "perhaps early trauma, early memories of abandonment or abuse, being made to feel that you're inadequate or unlovable, or being deprived of emotional attention," she says.