Cheaters are impulsive, and can't resist taking that risk despite what it might cost them. Cheaters, like bullies, are fueled by power, and drawn to risk. This kind of behavior, however, is a reflection of something deeply rooted inside of them.
Serial cheaters consistently cheat on their partners, even when they're in committed, monogamous relationships. They often struggle with poor impulse control and a lack of personal accountability.
"The traits shared by psychopaths and sociopaths are the traits that make both types more likely to cheat: a disregard for social morals and the rights and feelings of others, and a failure to feel remorse or guilt," she says.
Not all narcissists cheat, but rates of infidelity are higher among them. Unlike conventional cheaters, narcissistic cheaters can feel greater self-entitlement, impulsivity, suffer from control issues, and experience a lack of empathy and remorse.
Someone is three times more likely to cheat if they have cheated in the past. A person is two to four times more likely to be cheated on if they have been cheated on or have suspected cheating in a prior relationship. Men and women are equally likely to cheat or be cheated on.
Johns Hopkins University. "Married people who cheat don't often regret it: Infidelity survey reveals little remorse, high rates of satisfaction." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 22 May 2023.
Since they've already cheated before, they're less likely to change how they think about it in the future due to cognitive dissonance, and they'll end up behaving in accordance with how they think. Cheaters increase their acceptance of infidelity with every new cheating experience.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
When a narcissist is caught cheating and lying, they often make up a heap of more lies to convince you that they've been nothing but faithful. Even if you have evidence of cheating, they're likely to deny everything and even project their infidelity onto you.
The Psychodynamic Process Enables Cheating
In the quest for narcissistic supply, the somatic narcissist resorts to serial sexual conquests. Narcissists are easily bored (they have a low boredom threshold) and they have a low tolerance for boredom. Sexual dalliances alleviate this nagging and frustrating ennui.
57% of men overall admit to committing infidelity at some point in their lives. 54% of women overall admit to committing infidelity in one or more of their relationships. 22% of married men admit to having an affair at least once during their marriages.
But women also have more emotional affairs! One study found 78.6 percent of men and 91.6 percent of women admitted to having an emotional affair.
They tend to rationalize their behavior, despite whether it's wrong or right. You've heard the phrase "it's not you, it's me?" Cheaters tend to take stock in the reverse. "Cheaters often say things such as: 'My partner doesn't like to do what I like to do in bed.
Strong partners
Most cheaters are afraid of being alone. Contradictory by nature, a cheating mate is actually terrified of his or her partner leaving. A strong spouse who is willing to walk away and have a life outside of the relationship is a scary scenario for an adulterer.
There is a small amount of research that suggests cheating could be genetic. According to experts, people can absorb behaviors, like cheating, from their caretakers. Just because someone might be more inclined to cheat, that doesn't mean they will act on it.
Sometimes, cheaters don't always have a guilty conscience. A lack of guilt or remorse can lead to a complete disregard for the consequences of our actions. As a result, cheaters--and especially serial cheaters--may act impulsively, without concern for how their words or actions affect those around them.
They will either deny, deflect, devalue, and/or dismiss you. Deny. “It wasn't me.” “I didn't do that.”
Apologize. If you've heard someone say, “Narcissists never apologize,” they're not exactly right. While many traits of narcissism like entitlement, elitism, and arrogance make it unlikely someone with narcissistic traits will go the apology route, apologies are sometimes used with ulterior motives.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'”
Final Thoughts on the Red Flags of a Narcissist
Narcissistic individuals often exhibit traits such as a lack of empathy, manipulative behavior, and an inflated sense of self-importance. It's essential to understand that dealing with a narcissist can be draining and challenging.
Cheaters can change because they learn about themselves and what led them to cheat in the first place. They get help from others so they can understand what they did to their partner. Cheaters can change because they are humans and humans can change.
Look for these telltale signs to determine true remorse: Not only do they apologize, and often, but they also openly express what they're apologizing for. They don't make vague statements or blanket apologies. They show their remorse by doing things that they feel will lessen your pain.
Cheating husbands may be defensive over the smallest things. They may seem unusually sensitive or touchy about things that seem harmless to you. If you ask an innocent question about what they had for lunch, they may snap at you and accuse you of being controlling or demanding.