Oversharing is when you say more than is appropriate in a given situation or to a specific person. You can overshare in-person or via email, social media, or text message. Often, what you say becomes oversharing when you don't have a deep enough connection with someone.
Oversharing in a relationship can include sharing intimate details about your past relationships, your insecurities, fears, or personal issues that are better addressed with a professional.
Oversharing doesn't create intimacy. Oversharing is self-absorption masked as vulnerability. This may also signal emotional neediness and/or lack of boundaries.
Clearly, there are times when sharing too much could actually be hurting your independence and sense of self—or worse, hurting your partner. Healthy boundaries are an essential part of any good relationship.
Oversharing is a common struggle among people who lack personal boundaries.
Therapist Israa Nasir, explaining this, wrote, “Using oversharing to get closer to someone is an unintended and non-malicious emotional manipulation, or a sign of poor boundaries. It can leave you feeling empty and lonelier than before.
Oversharing can also make others feel uncomfortable, which may lead them to avoid being around you. Once you say something, you can never take it back. If you overshare via social media, you may damage your reputation and hurt professional opportunities.
Trauma dumping refers to persistently oversharing traumatic experiences with people who may not be ready or willing to receive this information. Trauma is a sensitive topic. While some conversations bring intimacy and healing, others may breed more trauma.
Overly controlling behavior is a common red flag in relationships. People that try to control your movements, decisions, or beliefs are more concerned about what they want than what is best for you. If a guy or girl tries to control what you wear or where you go, this could be a red flag.
It might be embarrassing small talk or something private about someone else. But for many people with ADHD, “oversharing” can be a more frequent problem. Oversharing is saying something personal or inappropriate in the wrong setting or to the wrong person. It's usually not something people with ADHD do on purpose.
For some people, sharing the intimate details of their lives can be empowering and freeing. But for many others, oversharing is a coping mechanism for anxiety, stress, and untreated trauma.
Oversharers sometimes just lack personal boundaries. They have no idea that it's not appropriate to tell co-workers about relationship issues or to reveal their financial problems to total strangers. People who lack boundaries sometimes lack close relationships—most likely because they've driven people away.
“They are more likely to feel the need to brag about their relationship, or even monitor their partner online to maintain their self-esteem. Often, people over-share to make others and themselves feel more secure about their bond,” says Dr Kersi Chavda, consultant psychiatrist, Hinduja Healthcare Surgical.
To Let Out Their Frustrations. According to this article from the Huffington Post, "oversharing is fueled by our insecurities." We tend to care too much what others think and try to make up for what we think other people judge us for. This leads to some people sharing far too much info.
“Trauma dumping is the unfiltered sharing of strong emotions or upsetting experiences without permission from the listener.” When someone experiences any of the many types of trauma, they often feel overwhelmed and seek relief by sharing their story. Unfortunately, this can backfire.
If you're regretful afterward, you may be telling too much, possibly because you crave deeper relationships. The trouble is, oversharing can cause others to clam up. I'd suggest that you take stock of your friends to get a sense of who you can count on and who you can't.
As for problems in our relationships, it's important we're careful how we discuss them. Often when one person chronically over-communicates — especially if they're an emotionally expressive person — it leads to the other partner shutting down or saying something they didn't mean in an attempt to end the conversation.
Generally, shared vulnerability makes you feel more connected and in tune with another person. Oversharing, on the other hand, is never an equal experience of connection, and it can be frustrating for both parties involved. The person doing the oversharing is venting about their emotions, which can expose them.
Studies have shown that oversharing becomes a defense mechanism for individuals with low self-esteem. According to a study conducted in 2012, it was emphasized that excessive sharing stems from the tendency to reveal emotions.
“People may overshare because of a desire for attention or validation, a lack of boundaries, a need for emotional regulation, social norms that encourage sharing, or mental health issues,” Davis-Fainbloom tells HuffPost UK.
If a person is a narcissist, or they feel inadequate, they often end up sharing everything that comes to mind to make sure they are heard.
ENFP overshares because they want you to know that they are a safe space and is okay to express your own feelings. ESTP overshares because they like to talk and may be trying to sell you something. ENTP overshares when they want you to open up so they can expand and learn from you.