"Pocketing is a situation where a person you're dating avoids or hesitates to introduce you to their friends, family or other people they know, in-person or on social media, even though you've been going out for a while. Your relationship seems non-existent to the public eye," she says.
Pocketing, or stashing, is a cause for concern in any relationship. It occurs when someone fails to introduce their partner to others despite dating for an extended period,(Pixabay)
'Pocketing', or 'Stashing' is when someone you're dating hides you from their friends and family and is, unsurprisingly, a very toxic practice. Your partner has made a conscious decision not to introduce you to their inner circle and it includes real life and on social media.
Pocketing can refer to a wide range of behaviors that are typically seen in romantic relationships, but it usually means that your partner is closing part of their life off from you. That means that a partner never gets to meet friends or family, and is essentially siloed off from the rest of their partner's life.
However, pocketing that extends beyond the first few weeks or months becomes a huge red flag and an extremely hurtful situation. Why? Because it stems either from a lack of commitment or shame. Your partner may not see a long-term future with you, they're already committed to someone else, or worse, they're ashamed.
“Other partners may pocket the person their dating to attempt to hide – they could be in another committed relationship and the pocketing helps them maintain both relationships. Another reason for pocketing could be to avoid some level of judgment from family and friends.”
Moving on from a pocketing relationship can take some effort from both people. You might need to reassess how you communicate your needs, and they might need to let go of some fears. Depending on where you are in the relationship, you might decide to go to a therapist or counselor.
"While pocketing can be frustrating and hurt the trust in a relationship, there are plenty of reasons why someone is pocketing," she says. "It could be out of fear, it could be because of past relationships that didn't work out.
Your spouse has a right to privacy in your relationship, as do you. You can both keep conversations, thoughts, and feelings private. However, if your spouse is doing something behind your back, they need to learn that hiding things from your partner will stunt communication and growth.
First and foremost, particularly for women, is reluctance to hurt their partner or damage the relationship. For married people, keeping a secret allows them to avoid their partners' disapproval. As Easterling argued, culturally we expect married people to be faithful to their partners' wishes.
One of the biggest red flags in a relationship you must watch out for is persistent or constant criticism. In a healthy relationship, two people want the best for each other. They are honest about their strengths and flaws and help each other out to be the best version of themselves.
Updated: Jul 31, 2023 / 07:19 AM CDT. CHICAGO — If you're being “benched” that means the person you're dating, or “talking to” a the kids say, is putting you on the sidelines. They like you. But not enough to make you a priority in their life. They'll hit you up if they need you or feel like hanging out.
One person tries to control the other by making them fearful or timid. They may attempt to keep the other person from friends and family or threaten violence or a break-up. Physical violence. One person uses force to get their way (such as hitting, slapping, grabbing, or shoving).
It's called "paperclipping," which describes when an ex reaches out intermittently, not because they're interested in you, but rather to keep you on the back burner as an option. It's similar to breadcrumbing, and it's intentional, often used by narcissists, according to relationship experts.
Many have asked, “what are backburner relationships?” Backburner relationships describe partnerships where you maintain communication with someone from your past or an ex should your present relationship not work out. According to psychologists, many of us can't detach from an ex.
Reasons Spouses Lie
They have already disappointed you, and they're afraid of your reaction; They promised to change a pattern, and they haven't; They promised to get something done, but didn't…even though they meant to. People often lie not necessarily to deceive, but to protect their own ego.
Partners keep a variety of secrets from their partners for many expected and at times surprising reasons. They may feel something is too taboo to discuss—like marital problems, financial issues, sexual preferences, or their own or their partner's mental health and addiction issues.
The biggest rule in a relationship is no matter how mad you are at your partner, you do not go and seek someone else's attention. You sit your ass there and make it right. Because that's your person. If you can easily go to someone else, you do not love the person you are with.
There's no emotional connection
If you are no longer vulnerable and open with your partner, it's hard to tell if the relationship is worth saving. If you're not sharing what's really on your mind, it might be a sign that you no longer want a deep connection.
It's just a matter of preference. This doesn't necessarily mean he has something to hide. Most people keep their phone near them because they want it to be easily accessible, whether that be too check their feed or to just check that notification that just buzzed.
Here are some other signs you're in a situationship: There's been no define-the-relationship (DTR) convo. You're doing girlfriend/boyfriend activities, but you've both stated it's casual. You haven't integrated into each other's lives meaningfully—you haven't met their family, friends, or colleagues.