The Eulogy A eulogy is a specific type of commemorative speech that honors a deceased person, usually at their funeral. Eulogies may include memories and anecdotes relating to the deceased person's life. Rather than focusing on how or why a person died, the eulogy celebrates the life they lived.
The eulogy is typically delivered during the funeral service. Your funeral director or the person leading the service will help you create the order of service, so it will be completely up to you when you would like the eulogy to be given.
In a eulogy, do not say anything about the person's cause of death, grudges and old grievances, arguments, character flaws, family rifts, or negative memories. Instead, share good memories and leave it out when in doubt.
It's also helpful to know that there are no requirements to have a eulogy at a funeral. You could simply have someone read the obituary and open up the room for comments.
A eulogy is used during a person's funeral or memorial service, and it's read aloud to all in attendance. It's used as an integral part of the service to praise and honor the deceased. An obituary is placed in a newspaper or funeral home website to notify the public of a person's passing.
A eulogy is most often written by an immediate family member or loved one of the deceased individual. This person should have spent a lot of time with the deceased and know them better than anybody else. Anybody can be a eulogizer from parents, to friends, to children.
Eulogies can take many forms. Some people who deliver a eulogy choose to open with a poem, a religious reading, or a personal anecdote, while others might choose to use these elements as a closing thought. Regardless of which approach you choose, a reliable structure involves three parts: a beginning, middle, and end.
We find that most eulogies are between five and ten minutes in duration. If you are sharing the eulogy with others aim for around three minutes each. Adjust the content of your remembrance speech to ensure it is not too brief, or too lengthy.
The rationale is that eulogies are often considered the centrepiece of the service, and therefore detract from the mass and its central message, which is the Christian meaning of death.
If you're unsure how to end your eulogy, finish with a simple goodbye, or a thank you for the memories you shared. You might choose to use traditional phrases like 'rest in peace' or 'sleep well'. Or you can use something less formal, like a greeting or joke you used to share with the person who has died.
The best eulogies are respectful and solemn, but they also give mourners some comic relief. A bit of roasting is fine if it suits who the person was and the family has a sense of humor. Close your eulogy by directly addressing the person who died, something like “Joe, thank you for teaching me how to be a good father.”
Don't worry about getting emotional
Everyone is there for the same reason, to remember a lost loved one. It's OK to shed a tear or two. You will never have a more sympathetic audience. If you need a moment to compose yourself, take it.
Here is a short eulogy example:
From the moment she shared her cookie with me on the first day of kindergarten, I knew we would be best friends. She spent many years working as a teacher, and her heart was big enough to offer individual attention to every child that walked into her classroom.
You could start with something simple like: “My name is __________ , the wife/husband/son/daughter/friend of ___________.” Another idea is to explain how you knew the deceased, or how you first met. However, you should take care to avoid focusing the eulogy on you.
I am heartbroken by the loss of my [specify relationship], but honored to have the opportunity to reflect on [his/her] life with you today. It's important that we acknowledge and fully experience the emotions of this day, on which we have gathered together to say goodbye to [insert name of the deceased].
Though your eulogy doesn't have to read like an obituary or give all of the basic information about the life of the deceased, you should touch on a few key points, such as what his family life was like, what his career achievements were, and what hobbies and interests mattered the most to him.
Yes, you should read it over several times aloud, but you're going to be reading it. The practice of reading the eulogy aloud is so that you don't stumble on the words and so that you place pauses and emphasis where they belong.
Eulogist. The person who will write a eulogy and deliver a speech is perhaps the most important funeral speaker. In most cases, it is someone who knew the deceased very well and can share thoughtful memories and stories. The eulogist is usually a family member or close friend.