An overthinker will tend to worry about everything in their relationship, from whether they're good enough for their partner to whether their partner is cheating on them. This can lead to a lot of conflicts, arguments, and significant stress for both partners.
An overthinker isn't crazy or toxic. They just think too much. If you are willing to put in the work and deal with this one tiny flaw, you can have an incredibly happy relationship.
Overthinking can make you assume negative consequences and jump to false conclusions. This can obviously lead to arguments with your partner who might feel upset for being misunderstood almost every time. Obsessing over little things and situations can impact your mood and dent your self-esteem.
Overthinking strikes all of us at some point, but if it goes unchecked and unresolved, overthinking can certainly morph healthy relationships into toxic relationships. If you fall victim to your thoughts and allow them to go too far, they can end up driving a wedge of distrust between you and other people in your life.
Overthinking may appear to be a simple problem, but it is far from it. Overthinkers may be difficult to date, but that doesn't make them bad people. However, a relationship with them is fraught with danger. While being an overthinker is difficult, loving one is even more difficult.
Anxiety and Relationship Problems: Overthinking
Negative, anxious thoughts in relationships cause worries about the relationship, what-ifs, worst-case scenarios, and dread. These manifest as jealousy, anger, distrust, and paranoia. Challenges arise when people act on these thoughts.
Many times overthinkers can have difficulty trusting because they infer their past onto the future.
Asking questions can help an overthinker process how they feel. If they're being quiet and it's obvious they're deep in thought, ask them what's on their mind. If they express an idea or thought, pepper them with follow-up questions to hear more about where they're coming from.
There is nothing wrong with dating an overthinker. This type of person needs reassurance throughout your relationship and likes to know what is going on with you in great detail. In other words, there may be some aspects of their behavior that you have to get used to when you date an overthinker.
Overthinking and creating imaginations in your head over what your partner is doing or not doing can be draining emotionally, physically and mentally and this can impact negatively on yourself and your partner.
Don't try to change them
They are who they are, and no amount of coaxing or cajoling is going to change that. Trying to change an overthinker will only lead to frustration and resentment, so it's best to accept them for who they are.
A relationship becomes hardest for someone who overthinks because all your possible scenarios end in your partner deserting you, cheating on you or planning to kill you in your sleep.
Letting the anxiety fester can break down the relationship or even drive you to the point of sabotaging it, says Shelley Sommerfeldt, PhD, clinical psychologist and relationship coach. Anxiety is often rooted in things that happened to you while you were growing up.
Overthinkers will constantly question you, especially about their own life. This is because they are trying to figure out what is right for them. They are usually the ones who have a hard time figuring out what they really want, and so they get caught up in the feeling of uncertainty.
Overthinking things can lead to problems in a relationship. For example, an overthinker might read too much into a phone call or text message. They might assume the worst is about to happen when you get angry or upset. They might need constant reassurance that you aren't going anywhere.
You think more than you do (spending so much time thinking of how to do something, you end up not doing it at all.) You get excited when you find a solution to your thoughts and then jump to the next problem and repeat the cycle. You spend more time preparing than accomplishing particular tasks.
They constantly worry if they feel that they made a mistake or if they hurt someone through word or deed. Overthinkers care too much. They are worried over mistakes or errs often considered trivial by others.
"Studies show that ruminating on stressful events can, over time, lead to anxiety and depression," warns Dr. Fowler. "From a mental health standpoint, anxiety can affect your ability to cope with everyday stressors, and depression results in sadness, loneliness and feelings of emptiness."
Meanwhile, overthinking may be associated with increased stress, anxiety, and depression. Following a traumatic event, it's also common to be hypervigilant — which is when you're on high alert for danger at all times. Some people experience hypervigilance as overthinking about potential signs of trouble.
Do guys overthink as much as girls do? - Quora. Yes, but not in the same way. If I were to generalize (and note that this will obviously not apply to everyone), I'd say that: Men overthink by taking a single subject and thinking up of all the different permutations and variations on said subject.
The good news is that you weren't born an overthinker. Overthinking is the result of one fact of human existence: we all have patterns to our behavior. These patterns, good and bad, develop over time based on life experiences. And just as patterns are learned, they can also be unlearned.
Research shows that overthinking is prevalent among young (25-35-year-olds) and middle-aged adults (45-55-year- olds). Overthinking tends to be worse among women. And too much thinking can lead to mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, emotional distress, and self-destructive behaviours.
Research shows that overreacting, constantly worrying, and living in a state of perpetual anxiety can reduce life expectancy.