Secure attachment is the healthiest form of attachment. It describes an attachment where a child feels comforted by the presence of their caregiver. Securely attached children feel protected and that they have someone to rely on.
Couples who are securely attached in their relationships tend to share the following traits: They desire closeness and enjoy emotional and physical intimacy. They are emotionally available to each other. They are aware of their feelings, share them openly and have empathy for their partner's feelings.
Anxious and avoidant relationships are considered unhealthy or insecure attachments. They can often lead to relationships that cause you great anxiety, distress, or emotional pain. Alternatively, you can also form attachments to objects. These attachment objects can play a role in how safe you feel.
Individuals with an anxious attachment style are characterized with: Being clingy. Having an intensely persistent and hypervigilant alertness towards their partner's actions or inactions.
Comfortable depending on others. Comfortable letting others depend on you. No anxieties about letting others get close. Willingness to seek comfort and support from a romantic partner when needed.
According to psychologists, people with avoidant attachment styles are individuals uncomfortable with intimacy and are therefore more likely to multiply sexual encounters and cheat.
The secure attachment style is the most common type of attachment in western society. Research suggests that around 66% of the US population is securely attached. People who have developed this type of attachment are self-contented, social, warm, and easy to connect to.
Both avoidant and anxious attachment are both insecure types of attachment. Just over 50% of people are securely attached to their partner. The securely attached are the least likely to be unfaithful as they do not worry about their partner straying or the strength of the relationship.
Difference between love and attachment
Love evokes fond feelings and actions toward the other person, particularly. Attachment is driven by how you feel about yourself with the degree of permanence and safety someone gives you, based on your past relationships.
If you are experiencing healthy emotional attachment within your relationship, you should feel: Close and connected to that person. Comfortable with being vulnerable, open, and trusting towards that person. That you can rely on that person to be responsive and available to your needs.
Disorganized attachment style
Disorganized attachment is the most extreme and least common style. People with disorganized attachment can be seen to act irrationally and be unpredictable or intense in their relationships.
AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT RELATIONSHIP PATTERNS
People with an avoidant attachment style can come across as selfish, appearing to put their own needs in front of their partner's needs.
As I pointed out earlier, previous studies on dating couples had showed that the anxiously attached were least likely to be unfaithful and the avoidantly attached the most.
The three types of insecure attachment are anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant, which are also known in children as ambivalent, avoidant, and disorganized.
Although it is a spectrum of four styles, common parlance refers to only three: anxious, avoidant and secure. Studies show that people who are securely attached have the healthiest relationships, and it's the type that everyone should strive for.
Avoidant Attachment: less likely to fall in love and more likely to engage in casual sex. Adults with an avoidant attachment style typically have a deactivated attachment system. Avoidant individuals do not seek proximity and intimacy, avoid the display of emotions, and appear distant and cold.
There are four principles of attachment theory - secure, anxious, avoidant and disorganized attachment. People with an anxious attachment style are more likely to struggle with self-doubt, fall in love quickly and carry a strong fear that their partner will leave them.
Individuals high in anxious attachment are more likely to engage in emotional manipulation and other harmful behaviors intended to prevent a partner from leaving the relationship, which in turn is linked to reduced relationship satisfaction, according to new research published in Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences.
So what does the research say about attachment theory and playing hard to get? Across four experiments, the researchers found that those with an avoidant attachment style are more likely to play hard to get. In contrast, those exhibiting anxious attachments are more willing to pursue someone who plays hard to get.
A securely attached person might be the ideal match for someone with an anxious attachment style. They're able to understand their partner's needs and therefore can help to regulate their partner's emotions.