No contact is when the non-borderline partner ceases all forms of communication with the borderline partner. (I now will just use NB and BP, respectively). This is usually done in cases where the relationship was abusive and/or the BP is abusive during the breakup.
No contact is often perceived as abandonment. A person with BPD will likely feel hurt, betrayed, angry, sad, depressed…you name it. Look no further than the very first symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder according to the DSM: Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
Family members may be quick to deny or argue the feelings experienced the person with BPD. If these feelings are ignored, the individual may resort to self-destructive ways to express their emotions.
Sometimes people with BPD return after no contact, but it's important to remember that this doesn't mean the relationship will automatically work out. The best way to rebuild a relationship with your BPD ex is by starting fresh and focusing on your own needs.
Push/Pull behaviors
Pulling someone into a close relationship and then pushing that person away repeatedly is one of the most well-known symptoms of BPD. It causes the person in question to be confused about where they stand in the relationship.
Borderline personality disorder is characterized by a pervasive pattern of instability in relationships, self-image, moods, and behavior and hypersensitivity to possible rejection and abandonment. People with borderline personality disorder fear rejection and abandonment, partly because they do not want to be alone.
A person with borderline personality disorder tends to anxiously avoid being separated from or abandoned by people they care about. They might go to extreme lengths such as stalking people they care about through tracking their phone or following them.
Although BPD personalities initiate a break-up as a way of seeking validation, because of the intense anxiety at play, they'll often express intense regret because of their abandonment wounding, especially if they're not met with the response they desire.
Cyclical Nature of BPD Abandonment
The fear of being abandoned often causes people with BPD to form unhealthy attachments. Sometimes, they may abruptly cut off these relationships, effectively abandoning their partners. Other times, they make frantic attempts to hold onto relationships.
While there are no specific causes that would result in quiet BPD vs. typical BPD, it's likely that one's personality or temperament influences how the disorder manifests in terms of outward symptoms or inward symptoms.
For people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), abandonment is something to be avoided at all costs. When a person with BPD feels abandoned, it can have a serious effect on their self-image and behavior, as well as their ability to maintain relationships.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
Someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) may start giving you the silent treatment. Manipulation, difficulty controlling and regulating emotions, and the consequences of fear of abandonment are the most common causes of this behavior.
However, patients with BPD tend to recognize faces with averted gaze more quickly than faces with direct gaze. Averted gaze is considered an emotional and social signal of avoidance (Adams and Kleck, 2005). One of the main clinical features of BPD is the fear of being abandoned (Gunderson and Lyons-Ruth, 2008).
The individual with BPD tends to blame themselves for the breakup and may experience an increase in depression, anxiety, anger and self-harming behaviors.
Ultimately, whether your BPD ex will come back after a breakup will depend on a variety of factors, including the specific dynamics of your relationship, the severity of their BPD symptoms, and their level of motivation to work on themselves and the relationship.
Though it's not a specific symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), it's not uncommon for people with BPD to lie compulsively. If you are related to someone with BPD, you might be concerned by the tendency of your loved one to lie and wonder how to cope.
They may even obsess over their new partner, convinced this is the perfect person for them. The relationship is mostly positive but can move quickly, given the impulsivity among people with BPD.
Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem. People who take their power from being a victim, or seek excitement in others because their own life is not where they want it to be.
Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.
No. Borderline Personality Disorder and cheating are not connected, though certain symptoms of BPD could drive someone to cheat. That said, if you and your partner are willing to work through the challenges of BPD and go to therapy, then there is no reason your relationship can't succeed.
If you suspect you're someone with BPD's favorite person, they may exhibit the following signs toward you: Consistent need for reassurance. Intense declarations of their love or appreciation for you. Reaching out more frequently when you don't respond.
Getting over a favorite person in BPD means that the person has worked through and overcome their intense emotional attachment to that individual. This can be a challenging process that often involves therapy and developing healthy coping mechanisms to manage feelings of abandonment and separation anxiety.