Love bombing is a controlling and manipulative tactic most often used by narcissists and abusive people. They seek to quickly obtain affection and attention before tearing their victims down. They may appear charming and exciting in the beginning, but this usually fades away and is replaced with emotional abuse.
Love bombing can be incredibly detrimental to your mental health because it's a form of emotional abuse, and Jackson says it has everything to do with the law of reciprocity: “If someone gives you something, you feel that you owe them something equal or greater in return.
Love bombing is typically a phase within a relationship. It may last for weeks, months, years, or even longer. It's important to know that over time, the benefits the love bomber receives from this behaviour (the 'emotional high') start to lessen, which can mean that they begin to change their behaviour.
“Some common traits of love bombing include providing excessive amounts of attention, admiration, and affection,” explains Alexander Burgemeester, a clinical psychologist and author from Amsterdam, the Netherlands. “The aim of this is to make the recipient feel dependent on and obligated to the individual.”
"Most love bombers are doing it unintentionally, or are at least in denial or rationalizing their behavior," Huynh said. Either way, she added, it often serves a self-centered purpose. It's hard to know how you really feel about this person so soon in a relationship.
Contrary to the popular assumption, not all love-bombing is calculated or intended to be harmful. The behavior ranges from being something that is relatively innocent albeit naïve, to being emotionally devastating or even life-threatening, such as when carried out by leaders of cults.
The classic signs of love bombing include giving elaborate gifts, excessive texting and calling, lavishing a partner with compliments, affection, and professing strong feelings early on.
Love bombing is a controlling and manipulative tactic most often used by narcissists and abusive people. They seek to quickly obtain affection and attention before tearing their victims down.
A narcissistic person love bombs so that the other partner can develop emotional, physical, or financial dependence on them. "People who engage in love-bombing are often doing so unconsciously, though they may be aware of the effect their behavior has on others," Behr says.
This phase may last for weeks, months, years, or even longer. However, this emotional high never lasts forever, and the effects will inevitably start to wane, destroying the fantastical façade. You may start noticing the red flags only when the love bombing phase starts nearing its end.
Take time to have an honest, open conversation with them about your concerns. It's possible the love bombing you're experiencing stems from a place of insecurity rather than manipulation. That said, you'll need boundaries, too. Let your partner know you won't tolerate love bombing, and don't give in when it happens.
Conclusion: The End of Love Bombing:
And unfortunately, the next stage is devaluation. When devaluation happens, the narcissistic relationship turns into an addictive cycle where the non-narcissistic person is trying to get back to the love bombing stage.
Love bombing involves excessive attention from a partner at the start of a new relationship. It may involve overwhelming phone calls, gifts, or professions of love. In many cases, love bombing is an early warning sign of an abusive relationship.
"In the honeymoon phase, love is shown by a desire to focus on what the other person likes or is interested in," Spinelli tells mbg. "Gestures tend to be thoughtful and not with an intent to impress." Love-bombers, on the other hand, will shower their partner with attention and expect recognition from them and others.
Love bombing can last weeks to years, but anecdotal data suggests the most active phase lasts 3 to 32 weeks. An un-cited study claims that both grandiose and covert narcissists reported love bombing for 25 weeks.
Love Bombing as a Narcissistic Attachment Style. Getting hit by a love bomb feels glorious! The lavish attention and affection seems to answer our prayers.
Love bombing is a tactic some people use to manipulate someone into jumping into a relationship sooner and more seriously than they'd like to. It's typically done by people who have a history of being in abusive relationships, are narcissists, or have an anxious attachment style.
Breadcrumbing is the act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal social signals (i.e. "breadcrumbs") in order to lure a romantic partner in without expending much effort. In other words, it's leading someone on.
What Makes Someone Susceptible to Love Bombing? Love bombers tend to be impatient. They often value power and control, and they want things to happen on their terms. Even if people “fall hard” in a new relationship, partners in healthy relationships respect that people need time to feel safe.
Many people who love bomb have narcissistic personality disorder, but that is not always the case. Attachment style and other factors can also play a role.
Thankfully, there are ways you can recover from the relationship, and one way is to seek therapy. A relationship counselor can help you in a few ways about love bombing, including: Helping you identify red flags and signs of an unhealthy relationship. Helping you learn what healthy relationships look like.
Because it's so intense and all-consuming, love bombing is exhausting and the “bomber” can only sustain it for about six to 12 weeks, Durvasula says.
Your self-esteem is low
Narcissists are drawn to those who have self-esteem problems, such as those who have experienced abuse, trauma, or identity issues. Narcissists frequently start a relationship by love bombing you, giving the impression that they are coming to your aid and are prepared to hoist you up.
"Future faking is when someone uses a detailed vision of the future to facilitate the bonding and connection in a romantic relationship," Greg Kushnick, PsyD, a psychologist based in New York City, told Health. It's generally something narcissists do, added Dr.
New Word Suggestion. a situation where someone you have dated suddenly sends you a message after a long period of time, then disappears again. "'Paperclipping' is the latest dating trend to be given an official name, following the likes of 'Kondo-ing', 'Masturdating' and 'Fishing'.