In some cases, toxic behavior may stem from underlying psychological issues such as anxiety, depression, or borderline personality disorder. People with these conditions may engage in toxic behavior as a way to cope with their own emotional struggles.
The toxic traits of a toxic person include unsupportive and unpleasant behavior, being manipulative, judgmental, controlling, and self-centered. Such people can be the cause of various negative feelings and emotions that you may be experiencing like depression, anxiousness, worthlessness, and unhappiness.
Toxic behaviors often arise from genetic conditions like depression and anxiety or from circumstances that lead to Post Traumatic Stress and resulting depression/anxiety. While these factors are not under the direct control of the toxic individual, it is still their responsibility to manage their behaviors.
People with toxic traits know they have them
It's natural to assume someone's bad behavior is a conscious choice. But many people with toxic traits don't realize that their behavior impacts others. You may have toxic traits that you don't know about. Some toxic traits, like absolutism, manifest subtly.
Letting go will likely come with guilt, anger and grief for the family or person you thought you had. They might fight harder for you to stay. They will probably be crueller, more manipulative and more toxic than ever. They will do what they've always done because it has always worked.
This doesn't mean you have to interact with them, but people aren't born “toxic” and generally get that way from observing such behavior in the home as a child or experiencing abuse. Setting healthy relationship boundaries with toxic people is essential, although it can be very challenging.
Toxic relationships generally follow three stages: idealizing, devaluing, and discarding. Learn about each of these stages and the impact it has on you.
The four behaviours are Blaming, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. Relationship expert Dr John Gottman termed these "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" as they spell disaster for any personal or professional relationship.
Toxicity in people isn't considered a mental disorder. But there could be underlying mental problems that cause someone to act in toxic ways, including a personality disorder.
Toxic people prey on your insecurities – they'll make you feel good about yourself while also pulling you down, so they can feel good about themselves. This helps them control you – the constant praising you and then criticizing you helps them brainwash you, so you never know which way is up.
A toxic relationship is often characterized by repeated, mutually destructive modes of relating between a couple. These patterns can involve jealousy, possessiveness, dominance, manipulation, desperation, selfishness or rejection.
Toxic people may address previous behavior, but they never accept responsibility. They rarely apologize. And if they do, it's with facetiousness, not sincerity. If you ask them to apologize, they will dance around it and try to gaslight you into feeling like you are being unreasonable for asking them to apologize.
Low self-esteem
People who are toxic are often insecure and have low self-esteem. This means they feel as though they're unworthy of being successful or happy, and tend to blame their failures on everything but themselves.
If you've addressed toxic behavior with the person exhibiting it and they have taken it to heart, it's possible for toxic people to change. “Toxic people can absolutely change,” Kennedy says, “however they must see their part in the problem before they are likely to find the motivation to do so.”
Cutting someone off can be a basic function of self-respect and self-valuation. Relationship expert Rachael Pace writes about this and makes a savvy point: “Letting toxic people become manipulative and use you for their own good is never a good sign.
Lack of consistency. Toxic communication — such as contempt, criticism, and sarcasm. Controlling behavior and distrust. Abusive — this is also inclusive of emotionally abusive behaviors, such as gaslighting, love bombing, breadcrumbing etc.
Toxic people often use manipulative tactics to make you doubt yourself. They may criticize your choices, belittle your accomplishments, or make you feel like you're never good enough. This can lead to self-doubt and a lack of confidence.