The Root Cause More often than not, emotional immaturity arises because of either: An inability to communicate with others, which leaves them feeling misunderstood. A lack of self-control, and an inability to control their emotions. An inability to read a room or situation, which leaves them acting inappropriately.
Emotional immaturity can be the result of insecure attachments during early life experiences, trauma, untreated addiction or mental health problems, and/or lack of deeper introspection or work on oneself. It can manifest as self-centeredness, narcissism, and poor management of conflict.
A person with BPD may appear to be emotionally immature because they often expect others to put their needs first. They're frequently emotionally dependent on others and may appear to be trying to manipulate others to give them their way by inappropriate emotional reactions or acting out.
People can grow and change. If someone you care about is emotionally immature, you may be able to help them learn to behave more like an adult. If they don't want to change, speak to a counselor about how to care for yourself while dealing with an emotionally immature person.
Acting immature can be a sign that kids are struggling and need more support. Hyperactivity, trouble with focus, and not getting enough sleep can be factors. Connect with other adults to find out what they've noticed, and work together to help kids develop skills.
When trauma impairs your ability to develop full emotional maturity, this is known as arrested psychological development. Trauma can “freeze” your emotional response at the age you experienced it. When you feel or act emotionally younger than your actual age, this is known as age regression.
Emotional immaturity is an effect of developmental trauma. If you experienced neglect or emotional abuse as a child and identified with the above, healing your trauma wounds can help you approach life and relationships with balance and maturity.
They are unable to take others' perspectives or stand in their shoes. They frequently show a lack of guilt or remorse. They do what feels best—which means they often don't learn from past mistakes and may continue to repeat behavior that has negative consequences. They engage in little self-reflection.
They Do Not Empathize – An emotionally immature person does not empathize with others' emotions and feelings and may seem self-centered. It is about fulfilling their needs, and they seldom apologize for hurting people with their actions or words.
Emotionally immature people may lack emotional sensitivity, behave in a self-preoccupied manner, and may cause you to question your reality. You may find communication difficult to even impossible. Therefore, it is important to acknowledge and recognize the signs so you can deal with them accordingly.
Some may think that an emotionally immature parent is necessarily a narcissist, but this is not true at all. There are, in fact, more than one type of emotionally immature parents. As you read the list of examples below, think about whether your parents fit any of them.
Emotional stunting can have many causes but is often the result of an overly protective mother, too much praise, and little punishment during adolescence.
When adults demonstrate bold emotions, they may be perceived as child-like. The cliche that intelligent people are emotionally immature may be more false than true because research does show that emotional intelligence is associated with academic achievement and academic achievement is an indication of intelligence.
They may battle anger problems or may feel disconnected from their emotions—especially vulnerable emotions. This can negatively impact the emotional maturity of their relationships and increases the risk of developing traumatic bonds with romantic partners.
Intrusive memories
Recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the traumatic event. Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again (flashbacks) Upsetting dreams or nightmares about the traumatic event. Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the traumatic event.
Four States of Emotional Maturation
They are: Survival (fear-based living); Security (duty-based living), Success (ego based living) and Serenity (love/trust-based living).
In the most severe cases, the cause of low self-esteem can be childhood trauma such as sexual or physical abuse, disasters, severe illness or bereavement. All of these experiences send a message to the child that the world around them is not safe.
A child who has experienced this type of trauma and holds much shame may show us behaviours such as: envy, anger, and anxiety, effects of sadness, depression, depletion, loneliness, isolation and avoidance. They will highlight to us their inadequacy, their powerlessness and at times their own self-disgust.
Children can experience trauma as early as infancy. In fact, young children between the ages of 0 and 5 are the most vulnerable to the effects of trauma since their brains are still in the early formative years.
If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment.