The core cause of insecurities in a relationship is often a lack of self-love. If one partner holds on to harmful limiting beliefs, like being afraid of failure or thinking that they don't deserve love, they won't be able to trust completely – and trust is the foundation of any relationship.
Even a small relationship setback can trigger intense fear and insecurity. It can be common for someone with low self-esteem to experience relationship insecurity because they don't believe they're worthy of love. Or perhaps they've been teased, bullied, or the victim of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse.
There is no one cause of insecurity; many factors can lead to the condition. Insecurity may stem from a traumatic event, crisis such as divorce or bankruptcy, or a loss. It can also result from one's environment, as unpredictability or upset in daily life can cause anxiety and insecurity about ordinary, routine events.
Emotional insecurity or simply insecurity is a feeling of general unease or nervousness that may be triggered by perceiving of oneself to be vulnerable or inferior in some way, or a sense of vulnerability or instability which threatens one's self-image or ego.
The insecure person frequently complains that things aren't good enough. People high in inferiority like to show what high standards they have. You may label them as snobs, but as much as you realize they're putting on an act, it may be hard to shake the feeling that they really are better than you.
“Some of the most common insecurities and relationships include emotional insecurity, attachment insecurity, physical insecurity, financial insecurity, professional insecurity, and social insecurity,” explains LaTonya P.
Insecurity fuels a lack of emotional confidence and security, which can lead to major issues in a relationship. It's also worth noting that this is not the same thing as a lack of trust. "You may have all the trust in the world that your partner isn't going to cheat on you but still feel insecure," says Jeney.
Insecurity is good to some extent because it makes you work harder in the relationship and value your partner more. If there's too much insecurity though, it can create a toxic atmosphere in the relationship and can wreak havoc on your confidence. It can even separate partners who love and care for each other.
Jealousy may be driven by low self-esteem or a poor self-image. If you don't feel attractive and confident, it can be hard to truly believe that your partner loves and values you. Other times, jealousy can be caused by unrealistic expectations about the relationship.
Insecure types are extremely risk averse and unproductive. Some can be downright nasty or display abusive behaviors. Here are their most common toxic behaviors, according to Harvard career expert Amy Gallo: They are overly concerned about what others think of them.
The kind of childhood you had, past traumas, recent experiences of failure or rejection, loneliness, social anxiety, negative beliefs about yourself, perfectionism, or having a critical parent or partner can all contribute to insecurity.
Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying. You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down. Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn't be one-sided.
In romantic relationships, insecurity can drive you to unhelpful thoughts and behaviors, which can include: Incessantly checking up on your partner if you're not with them to determine their whereabouts. Not trusting your partner to stay faithful to you and constantly worrying that they're cheating on you.
Being insecure
Another reason why someone might cheat is because they are insecure. "Usually, in this scenario, the partner that wants to cheat is seeking out confirmation of their desirability," Winter told INSIDER. "And they use the reinforcement of a new person to bolster their own self-confidence."
A root fear: Overthinking stems from a particular insecurity or root fear. This insecurity may be from childhood, a past relationship, or general low self-esteem or trust issues.
A person who looks in the mirror and suffers to do it, is beautifully insecure. Yet, people who rarely look in the mirror and who are indifferent to their impact on others because they believe they are perfect in the relationship, may be insecure in a pathological way.
By definition, an insecure person is a person who feels shy or uncertain around others and lacks confidence or self-assurance. Despite attempts by themselves and others, insecure people often find it difficult to feel good around others. Face to face contact or communication may cause them to feel uneasy.
Insecure people often use criticism of others as a way to feel better about themselves. See, people who are insecure consistently feel bad about themselves. And often, they don't know how to feel better in a healthy or productive way. So they often resort to criticizing others.