In attachment therapy, you explore your childhood to understand the dynamics of your relationship with your caregiver(s). This provides insight into the insecure attachment style that you may have and work on ways to unlearn the behaviors that perpetuate it.
There are several different types of therapy proven to support those experiencing insecure attachment, including family therapy, Gestalt therapy, cognitive therapy, and behavioral therapy. Each type can work effectively, depending on the individual presenting with the symptoms.
An insecurely attached person can build the security they need by integrating new, supportive, loving experiences into their lives. With time, they can trust that a reliable and consistent person (such as a partner) will be there for them in times of distress (the opposite of what they had as a child).
Therapy for attachment issues
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps change unhelpful thoughts and behaviors, and create better balanced perspectives. In particular, Trauma-Focused CBT can help children and adults heal from traumatic experiences.
Attachment-based family therapy (ABFT) falls within this category, and is a type of family therapy that is used to treat kids and teens with behavioral and emotional problems that stem from childhood trauma associated with poor attachment styles.
After a few sessions of adapted EMDR – children showed a decrease in their attachment-issue symptoms and were better at emotionally regulating themselves. Similarly, the adults in this study showed equally positive effects.
AF-EMDR is designed to heal relational trauma and it can especially help those who have insecure attachment styles and relational trauma.
Psychotherapy could help people understand what past issues influence or dictate their current emotions and attachment style. Psychotherapy can include: Cognitive behavioral therapy: This type of therapy can focus on how thoughts can influence beliefs, attitudes, and behavior.
Yes, CBT can be a very effective tool for helping to address anxious attachment issues. Through CBT, you will learn how to identify and replace negative thought patterns with more positive and healthy ones. You will also learn how to manage your emotions in a healthier way so that you don't become overwhelmed by them.
Provide some Reassurance and Attention
Generally, anxiously attached adults need reassurance that they are loved and worthy. One way to ensure they feel loved is to tell them you love them. Without the cost of feeding into their constant need for reassurance, they need to hear it every once in a while.
Disorganized/disoriented attachment, also referred to as fearful-avoidant attachment, stems from intense fear, often as a result of childhood trauma, neglect, or abuse. Adults with this style of insecure attachment tend to feel they don't deserve love or closeness in a relationship.
Though both fall under the label of 'attachment difficulties' in NICE (2015), a critical difference is that insecure attachment is relationship-specific, whereas attachment disorders are not (Van Ijzendoorn and de Wolff, 1997).
You can't "cure" your partner of their attachment style, but you can be there for them while they learn how to cope with it. For example, a partner with an insecure attachment could benefit from therapy. Showing your secure attachment to them while they do this important work will help them feel safer.
Therapy can help you learn to manage stress, anxiety, and insecurity by teaching you to: Make connections between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
Therapy might also help those individuals who experience significant insecurities. A therapist can help people identify strengths and focus on those rather than on perceived failings.
Research shows that people who have an anxious attachment style may bemore likely to engage in manipulative behavior.
Practice positive reframing to calm yourself down. For example, if your partner is out a lot, celebrate that they have an active social life. Focus on your physical and emotional health to avoid becoming dependent on your significant other. Exercise, sleep well, and pursue your own hobbies.
Clients with a bipolar disorder or personality disorder diagnosis are not good candidates for EMDR.
EMDR should not be administered to people with dissociative disorders, like dissociative amnesia, as people with these conditions feel emotionally detached. Therapists must deal with this dissociation using other therapies before applying EMDR techniques.
Attachment trauma is considered to be a traumatic experience an infant or child has when a primary caregiver does not or cannot provide adequate care, affection, and comfort.
EMDR has been characterized as pseudoscience, because the underlying theory and primary therapeutic mechanism are unfalsifiable and non-scientific. EMDR's founder and other practitioners have used untestable hypotheses to explain studies which show no effect.