Toxic situationships often lack clear communication and defined expectations, leaving you in a constant state of anxiety about where you stand with your partner. You may constantly question their feelings, intentions, and commitment, fearing that you might say or do something that will push them away.
These types of relationships often lack clear boundaries, commitments, and labels, which can lead to confusion and frustration. While situationships may seem convenient at first, they can quickly turn toxic and leave you feeling unfulfilled.
The lack of clarity and commitment can cause anxiety, uncertainty, and insecurity, leading to feelings of loneliness, depression, and low self-esteem. People in situationships often struggle with understanding their partner's intentions and expectations, leaving them with a constant sense of unease and stress.
The undefined nature of situationships can make them singularly hard to recover from, says Jessica Alderson. As she says, “in situationships, there's often a lack of clear boundaries, commitment, and labels, making it difficult to know where each person stands”.
Since there is no clear line or boundary for what a situationship should be and how one should handle it, it can result in emotional and mental trauma, just like it does during a breakup but worse.
Situationships can last for a few days, weeks, months, or even years. Just like in other relationships, there's no expiration date unless one or both of you choose to end the situationship and move on.
But these types of vague relationships can be more than just confusing to the people involved—in fact, experts say they can sometimes have a profound impact on a person's mental health, leading to feelings of depression, anxiety and deflated self-esteem.
"If you're experiencing heartbreak from someone you weren't in a relationship with, it's really heartbreak over the loss of a fantasy – a wish, a longing, a projection that you had about them, a hope, rather than the person themselves," Dr Ben-Ari says.
It's a red flag if they force you to prolong the situationship after months of dating. It's a red flag if they disregard your feelings about the situationship. It's a red flag if they make you feel bad for wanting more from the relationship after countless dates.
In a situationship, there's typically no discussion of the future. The connection is superficial: Though you and your partner may spend time together, or may even be intimate with each other, you may not have developed a deep emotional connection.
It's been three months or more. Three months is more than enough time to know if you want to commit to someone else. You have an idea of who each other is at this point. If they still “don't know” what they want or what they're looking for, it's in your best interests to walk away.
Situationships can be a fun and exciting way to explore your feelings without the pressure of a committed relationship. However, it's important to set clear rules and boundaries to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings.
“People who tend to gravitate towards situationships are those who want the emotional connection and intimacy with a partner in a compartmentalized way,” Romanoff explains. “They may have emotional presence and connection in person, but when apart, they also have freedom outside of a committed relationship.”
Breadcrumbing, also known as “Hansel and Gretelling”, refers to leading someone on by contacting them sporadically and without the intention of entering into a relationship. Breadcrumbers are not usually interested in commitment; their aim is to receive attention and feel attractive and popular in the dating world.
If you find yourself in a situationship, consider it a huge red flag because this is not a partner that is willing to commit — or maybe you're the partner unwilling to commit. A situationship is usually one-sided, ambiguous, and the ultimate stagnation in your journey to find a companion for life.
Even though it is highly likely that one of you is way ahead with their feelings than the other in which case getting over a situationship is the only option falling in love in a situationship is not unheard of.
While experts say situationships can have their temporary benefits, they can quickly move into harmful territory if one partner starts to want more. "When both people are not in sync on the nature of the situationship, anger and resentment can arise over time," says Carla Manly, a psychologist practicing in California.
This means you don't interact on social media, you don't text or call them, and definitely no FaceTime. While some people believe following the no-contact rule will help them win their situationship over, this is not the case. No contact is to help you move forward and nothing else.
Both refer to non-committed, casual relationships, but the two have distinct differences. A situationship is an undefined romantic relationship with no clear boundaries or labels. On the other hand, friends with benefits refer to a sexual relationship between two people who are already friends.
Try putting them down on paper and weigh up what you really want out of it. If you are happy for now, then put them away somewhere and forget about them. But when the time comes to think about your future with or without the other person (and trust us, it will) get them out and give them a read. It will help, trust us.
Over the years I've seen clients in a variety of situationships that serve a purpose in their lives for a time. Some of my clients find themselves in long-distance situationships, and these relationships can be quite powerful, with the parties involved staying in touch for years.