Individuals living with quiet BPD may have decreased levels of empathy, high conflict relationships, clinginess and fear of abandonment, adds Dr. Lira de la Rosa. “The combination of these symptoms can lead to unstable interpersonal relationships, low self-esteem and periods of depression.”
If you have quiet BPD, you may have low self-esteem and often feel angry, depressed, or anxious. In addition, you may have a history of self-harm, suicidal thoughts, or both. With quiet BPD, you may also feel guilt or shame.
Signs and symptoms of quiet borderline personality disorder
Living with quiet borderline personality disorder can be exhausting and incredibly debilitating. It can stop a person from being able to enjoy their everyday life, as they struggle to cope with the intense thoughts and emotions that they experience.
Quiet BPD looks different from 'typical' BPD. Having Quiet BPD means you 'act in', rather than act out. You may not have stereotypical BPD symptoms such as frequent anger outbursts – instead you suffer in silence. You may appear calm and high functioning, instead of 'exploding', you implode and collapse from within.
Some potential causes of quiet BPD may be the result of: Family history of various personality disorders. History of other mental health conditions (anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, substance abuse, depression, etc.) History of neglect, abuse, trauma, or abandonment in childhood.
As with 'classic BPD', you have a deep fear of abandonment, but instead of fighting for attachment in the form of clinginess, in quiet BPD you believe you deserve to be abandoned. The self-loathing can drive you to isolate yourself for days and weeks.
Due to misconceptions and the inward nature of this condition, it's possible for quiet BPD to be misdiagnosed as another condition, such as depression or social anxiety disorder. While such conditions may occur together, BPD is a separate diagnosis that only a mental health professional can make.
People with BPD score low on cognitive empathy but high on emotional empathy. This suggests that they do not easily understand other peoples' perspectives, but their own emotions are very sensitive. This is important because it could align BPD with other neurodiverse conditions.
The truth is that quiet BPD can be harder to identify than typical BPD as the signs are often not outwardly obvious. For example, while a person with typical BPD might show outward signs of rage, a person with quiet BPD might turn that rage inward and engage in self destructive behaviors.
Participants with BPD had more frequent, intense, and sudden experiences of aversive tension than did control participants; moreover, rejection, being alone, and failure were identified as triggering events for nearly 40% of the BPD group's increases in aversive tension.
When you have Quiet BPD, you would not directly confront people or fight for your relationships. Instead, you withdraw and cut yourself off from them. You discard relationships easily, leaving the other person in confusion. When you look back, however, you may regret losing some friends.
If left untreated, the person suffering from BPD may find themselves involved with extravagant spending, substance abuse, binge eating, reckless driving, and indiscriminate sex, Hooper says. The reckless behavior is usually linked to the poor self-image many BPD patients struggle with.
Wide mood swings lasting from a few hours to a few days, which can include intense happiness, irritability, shame or anxiety. Ongoing feelings of emptiness. Inappropriate, intense anger, such as frequently losing your temper, being sarcastic or bitter, or having physical fights.
The Social Security Administration placed borderline personality disorder as one of the mental health disorders on its disabilities list. However, you'll have to meet specific criteria for an official disability finding. For example, you must prove that you have the symptoms of the condition.
This clinical study of 23 borderline outpatients and 38 outpatients with other personality disorders provides evidence that individuals who become borderline frequently have a special talent or gift, namely a potential to be unusually perceptive about the feelings of others.
Bold – Impulsivity is a BPD trait that can be positively linked to being bold, courageous and having the ability to speak one's mind. Creative – The high intensity of emotions can be released into creative endeavours. Many people with BPD put their entire emotional expression into music, art, performance and writing.
Gaslighting is by no means unique to individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD), but certain symptoms make it more likely for people with BPD to feel gaslighted by others and create circumstances where others feel gaslighted by them. Gaps in memory result from dissociation.
A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones. A distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self. Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating.
Muscle Aches and Pain
Another common physical symptom of stress and anxiety is muscle pain/aches. Many folks with BPD experience high emotional stress due to rapid cycling moods, so this kind of physical symptom may be common. “For me it's the physical toll the anxiety takes on your entire body.
BPD, Depression, and Dysthymia
One argument in favor of BPD as a form of major depression was based on the frequency of family history of depression in BPD patients. However, impulsive disorders, such as substance abuse and antisocial personality, are actually more common in families than mood disorders.
While people with quiet BPD often seem fine outwardly, they are struggling inside with feelings of intense loneliness, shame, or self-criticism. BPD is estimated to affect about 1.6% of the population at any one time. However, some estimates put the percentage closer to 6%.
At least 14% of those diagnosed with ADHD in childhood later receive a diagnosis of BPD while between 18% and 34% of the adults with ADHD are estimated to have comorbid BPD.
It is now clear that DSM-IV-defined BPD is a heterogeneous construct that includes patients on the mood disorder spectrum and the impulsivity spectrum (Siever and Davis, 1991), in contrast to the original speculation that these patients might be near neighbors of patients with schizophrenia or other psychoses.