When a narcissistic person doesn't get a constant supply of validation or someone injures their self-esteem, their confident and superior facade can collapse. A narcissistic collapse may happen because others don't see the person like they want to be seen, for example.
When they feel hurt, a narcissist's rage may boil over, causing them to lose control and become furious for the slightest reason. For example, if you ignore your narcissistic partner, limit your interaction with them, or avoid unnecessary communication, they may react with an explosive rage, leading to a collapse.
While most narcissistic collapses tend to be a temporary thing, there are some that can last for years — even to the end of one's life.
They so strongly believe in their own uniqueness that they dismiss any presumption that they might be defective or incomplete. Then taking it further, they become susceptible to predictable, disruptive behaviors. For instance: They feel no need to consult you regarding group decisions.
The Narcissistically Injured/Deflated Narcissist:
The narcissistically injured, hereafter referred to as the deflated narcissist, is someone who embraces shame but, this narcissism comes from the rigidity with which the individual tells the story.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
Discard/Rejection: When the narcissist gets bored or decides the person is no longer useful enough to them, they'll often end the relationship and 'discard' the person. Sometimes, this ending is final.
Older narcissists become increasingly closed-minded.
They have an inner urgency to blame somewhere for the loss of their personal power or their inability to get the attention they feel they deserve. Narcissists tend to dump all their animosity on scapegoats.
Those traits ensure that as narcissists try to forge a connection with you, at some point it will fall apart. The foundation they stake their lifestyle upon is bound to crumble. A relationship with a narcissist is a matter of waiting for the narcissist to implode.
According to research, those with covert or vulnerable narcissism may be more likely to lash out when experiencing a collapse. This means that they may be more likely to act in vindictive ways or express rage than people with overt narcissism.
They Are Criticized. When a narcissist is criticized, their inflated sense of self is damaged. Any perceived negative feedback, even if offered in gentle or productive ways, can easily result in outbursts of narcissistic rage. A narcissist cannot tolerate threats to their massive egos and grandiose self-image.
Most recent theories have focused on the link between narcissism and negative childhood experiences, such as physical or sexual violence, neglect, or rejection [10,11].
Focusing on your needs shows them what they're losing.
Many narcissists are users. They expect you to be there for them, but they have no intention of reciprocating. Start saying “no” to them, and focus on what you want instead. They'll get super frustrated and realize how great a partner you were for them.
Simply put, anything that jeopardizes their basic needs for superiority can quickly irritate them. If you want to know how to infuriate a narcissist, you can look no further than giving them nothing. But you can also stand up for yourself, set boundaries, and refuse their gaslighting strategies.
According to Julie L. Hall, author of “The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free,” narcissists become more extreme versions of their worst selves as they age, which includes becoming more desperate, deluded, paranoid, angry, abusive, and isolated.
The narcissist often engages in self-defeating and self-destructive behaviours.
The narcissistic abuse cycle refers to an abusive pattern of behavior that characterizes the relationships of people with narcissistic traits. It involves first idealizing a person, then devaluing them, repeating the cycle, and eventually discarding them when they are of no further use.
Narcissists are highly sensitive to criticism or any perceived threat to their self-image, and they will go to great lengths to protect it. If you criticize them or challenge their dominance, you will trigger a defensive response.
The tactic includes limiting emotional responses, avoiding eye contact, and removing yourself from situations whenever it's possible to do so. The theory is that when a toxic person sees you as a boring, uninteresting, grey rock, they may eventually lose interest.