Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD) shares the most overlap with codependency. The primary distinction between Dependent Personality Disorder and codependent people is the nature of the relationship.
It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual's ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive.
What Causes Codepenency? Codependence is thought to develop when a child grows up in a dysfunctional family environment where fear, anger, and shame go unacknowledged. The dynamic leads family members to withhold from expressing (repressing) their emotions and ignore their own needs.
Most individuals with BPD may also become codependent as a result of poor or unhealthy attachment in childhood, internalized fears, or other similar behaviors.
For example, codependency symptoms overlap significantly with dependent personality disorder (DPD), as well as a borderline personality disorder (BPD).
Generally, people with BPD are codependent and find another codependent to merge with and to help them. They seek someone to provide stability and to balance their changeable emotionality. Codependents and narcissists who act self-sufficient and control their feelings provide a perfect match.
Specifically, codependency may be more common among those who have experienced early life trauma, are in a close relationship with someone with a substance use disorder or have certain personality traits that make them susceptible to codependency, such as scoring high on anxiety, need for approval or self-defeating ...
The best treatment for codependency is psychotherapy. Therapies focused on noticing behaviors and changing reactions, like cognitive behavioral therapy, can help all parties involved in a codependent relationship. Sobriety is necessary if substance abuse is involved in the codependent relationship.
Lacking trust in yourself and having poor self-esteem. Having fears of abandonment or an obsessive need for approval. Having an unhealthy dependence on relationships, even at your own cost. Having an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others.
The spectrum of codependency is illustrated here. The horizontal vector shows how opposite codependent personality traits can manifest in a relationship. Individuals may reverse roles. For example, you may be the pursuer in one relationship and a distancer in another, or flip back and forth in the same relationship.
The most effective treatment for codependency is therapy, whether group or individual, to understand the ways in which someone feels they must care-take for another's emotional state. This work can be hard to identify in ourselves, so having a supportive professional help us untangle these relationships can be crucial.
Self-control is the antidote to codependency.
Care-taking allows one to avoid the exploration of one's feelings and inadequacies. Therapy sheds light on your vulnerabilities and gives you the tools to heal and feel in (real) control of your life.
Codependents often become obsessed with their partner. This can cause the individual to deny or rationalize problem behavior, doubt their own perceptions, fail to maintain healthy boundaries, and disregard their own friends, jobs, studies, and other activities.
A codependent is someone whose feelings, thoughts, and actions revolve around another person. [I] Codependents needn't be empathetic and an empath needn't be codependent. Some people justify or glorify their codependency on the fact that they're empathetic; however, codependency is something very specific.
Codependents have trouble being direct and assertive and may use manipulation to get their way. They may say whatever they think someone wants to hear to get along or be loved, but then later they do what they want. This is also passive-aggressive behavior.
“Codependency” is an outdated term that connotes weakness and emotional fragility, both of which are far from the truth. The replacement term, “Self-Love Deficit Disorder” or SLDD takes the stigma and misunderstanding out of codependency and places the focus on the core shame that perpetuates it.
Codependents are needy, demanding, and submissive. They suffer from abandonment anxiety and, to avoid being overwhelmed by it, they cling to others and act immaturely. These behaviors are intended to elicit protective responses and to safeguard the "relationship" with their companion or mate upon whom they depend.
Codependent friendships can swallow you up becoming the most important relationship in your life; you might even feel like you cant live without this friendship. Healthy friendships meet the needs of both people. Its normal for there to be some imbalance in the short-term, but things should balance out over time.
Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.
Another hallmark of borderline personality disorder is having a favorite person—usually a family member, romantic partner, or someone in a supportive role, such as a teacher or coach. For someone with this type of BPD relationship, a “favorite person” is someone they rely on for comfort, happiness, and validation.
Don't point out how you feel that they're wrong, try to win the argument, or invalidate their feelings, even when what they're saying is totally irrational. Do your best to stay calm, even when the person with BPD is acting out.
Healing codependency involves: 1) Untangling yourself from other people, 2) Owning your part, 3) Getting to know yourself, and 4) Loving yourself. Sign up for our 5-day series and learn about the science behind trauma from a licensed psychologist.