“Comments that make assumptions or imply ignorance — such as 'You can always try IVF' or 'There's always adoption' — can also risk further alienating a person struggling with infertility,” Dr. Zaki said.
Don't say:
"I know it will happen for you; I just know it." "You can have one of mine (kids) if it doesn't work." "If you just relax & stop thinking about it, then it will happen." "I know it will happen for you one day."
Sometimes treatment can drive couples apart. Especially when it doesn't work. One study of almost 50,000 Danish women found that women who don't have a child after fertility treatment are three times more likely to divorce or end cohabitation with their partner than those who do.
Psychological stress
Infertility can cause psychologically distress, emotionally stress and financial difficulties for both partners (3). Typical reactions to infertility include shock, sadness, depression, anger and frustration, loss of self-esteem and self-confidence and a general loss of sense of control (1).
Common reactions include shock at the diagnosis and its impact on fertility, grief and loss of future plans, anger or depression from disruption of life plans, uncertainty about the future, loss of control over life direction, and worry about the potential effects of early menopause (such as reduced bone density).
Stress, Anxiety, Depression and Grief
The experience of infertility and its treatments is highly stressful and can interfere with many aspects of life, including work, family, and relationships. Some research has found a link between infertility and anxiety and depression, though how they are linked is not clear.
This was particularly true of early-stage relationships, when they worried their new love interest would leave them. Thankfully, the opposite was true: Fewer than 1 in 5 women said infertility would dissuade them from a relationship, and men were even less likely to feel that way.
Show Support by Listening but Don't Pry
Be supportive and invite her to talk about what she's going through without asking a lot of questions. That way, she won't feel like you're prying or intruding into her private grief or stress.
Support Her Emotionally
She just needs you to be there for her and express sympathy. The indignities of IVF treatment may affect your partner's self-esteem, so avoid being critical or judgmental. Express your admiration for her strength and encourage your wife's self-appreciation. Ask how you can support her.
Say: "I'm here for you." Sometimes when you don't know what to say, just saying that you're there for them can go a long way. “This kind of verbal commitment can help them feel supported, loved, and acknowledged,” Dr.
I'm X weeks pregnant. I'm telling you privately (or by email, or letter) not to be rude, but to give you the space you might need to process this information. Please know that I care about you (or love you) and am sorry to be adding to your pain.
Try to keep your stress level down by setting time aside for healthy activities that are enjoyable and relaxing, like meditation, reading, exercising, or taking walks. Leaning on friends, family, partners, therapists, and support groups can also be really helpful when you're struggling with infertility.
The stress and trauma that result from infertility can also have a negative impact on a relationship. Because both partners experience their own challenges in infertility, they may be more prone to snapping at each other, taking things personally, or feeling disconnected.
The emotional strain fertility problems cause can often break a relationship. “Going through an extremely disappointing and frustrating experience as a couple often pushes both people to their limits, and they end up falling apart,” Diana Kirschner, a clinical psychologist, told health.com.
Testicular trauma is a frequent acquired cause of infertility; being accidents, work injuries and sport activities that are the most common causes of testicular traumas.
Emotional challenges and stress
An analysis published in Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience found that many women and couples experiencing infertility do not share their story with friends or family and feel isolated, ashamed, and guilty.
Infertility has significant negative social impacts on the lives of infertile couples and particularly women, who frequently experience violence, divorce, social stigma, emotional stress, depression, anxiety and low self-esteem.
Maltreatment survivors are also at high risk of developing posttraumatic stress symptoms (PTSS), and PTSS may also be associated with decreases in fertility—for example, it may lengthen the time needed to conceive (Wamser-Nanney, 2020).
At some time during the infertility evaluation and treatment, couples may feel intense anger. They may argue that life has treated them unfairly and that their infertility is unjust. They may become intensely angry when they see individuals, whom they believe undeserving, achieve a pregnancy with little or no effort.
Infertility can cause psychological distress, emotional stress and financial difficulties for both partners [6]. Couples may feel emotions like anger, guilt, sadness, depression, anxiety, and loss of self-confidence and self-esteem.
Infertility and stress. Infertility can have far-reaching effects. It can affect a person's relationship with family and friends, create financial difficulty, affect the relationship between partners and negatively affect the couple's sexual relationship. In a nutshell, infertility can cause stress.