Let them vent their feelings and when they finish, pick any of their words that had a lot of emotion attached. These can be words such as “Never,” “Screwed up,” or any other words spoken with high inflection. Then reply with, “Say more about “never” (or “screwed up,” etc.) That will help them drain even more.
Acknowledge their troubles and let them know you feel for them. Empathize with the speaker by asking them if they are okay. A critical lecture is the last thing they need when seeking someone to confide in through venting. While you are playing the role of the listener, analyze the situation from their perspective.
If you're the partner listening to venting, here's what to offer: no pushback or advice, good eye contact, an occasional nod of acceptance, ideally some empathy (“That sounds really irritating” or “I hear how upset you are.”) What isn't helpful is inserting yourself in any way that obstructs the flow of your partner's ...
Emotional dumping is an act of unconsciously sharing your feelings or perspective without an awareness of the other person and their emotional state or needs. Emotional dumping typically occurs as a heightened reactive response to a triggering event that is relived and repeated within a conversation.
Why Venting. One of the main reasons why we vent is to reduce our stress levels. Rime (2009) states that disclosing stress is a coping mechanism. Venting is a 2-way process: the person venting and the person hearing the vent.
While venting can be a natural part of working through our negative emotions, does it become toxic at a certain point? It turns out, it can. And that's when venting becomes trauma dumping — the act of oversharing your emotions in a way that becomes harmful to the other person.
Trauma dumping is defined as unloading traumatic experiences on others without warning or invitation. It's often done to seek validation, attention, or sympathy. While some initial relief may come from dumping your trauma onto someone else, the habit actually does more harm than good.
: to express (a strong emotion, such as anger) in a forceful and open way.
Saying things like, “You're doing great – breathe with me,” can go a long way to support your loved one's recovery. Social talk about normal, everyday topics can distract your loved one from the work or worry they have about trying to get off of the ventilator.
When you vent, you aren't looking for answers or restitution, you're just allowing yourself to feel your emotions. Venting may not be as common as complaining, so if you find yourself "venting" all the time, you might just be complaining.
Effects of Venting Anger
Greater feelings of stress and anxiety. Increased negative emotions and moods. Impaired interpersonal relationships. Problems at work, at home, or in social situations.
[Venting is a] coping mechanism that allows a person to rationalize and validate their own fears, concerns, worries, dreams and hopes.
The fawn response is when an individual tries to avoid or minimize distress or danger by pleasing and appeasing the threat. Someone responding in this way would do whatever they can to keep the threat, or abuser, happy despite their own needs and wants.
If you're highly self-conscious or socially anxious, worrying about being perceived as a “toxic person” might lead you to under-share your needs and to a lack of connection with others. On the other hand, oversharing may be a trauma response or a sign that you are ready for or need support.
Most of the time, trauma dumping is not purposefully abusive or manipulative. It's more common for a dumper to be so involved in talking about their traumatic experience that they are unaware of how their story is impacting their listeners.
Intrusive memories
Recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the traumatic event. Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again (flashbacks) Upsetting dreams or nightmares about the traumatic event. Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the traumatic event.
Trauma response is the way we cope with traumatic experiences. We cope with traumatic experiences in many ways, and each one of us selects the way that fits best with our needs. The four types of mechanisms we use to cope with traumatic experiences are fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.
The problem with venting is that it amplifies negativity. The more you think or talk about an issue, the more salient it becomes. It's adding fuel to the fire. Next time you feel like doing so, try focusing on problem-solving or talking about something else entirely.
“Venting may reduce your stress, anger, confusion, or frustration. That can be beneficial,” he says.
Venting Defined
According to an article in Psychology Today, "[People] who vent have an agenda. They tend to [focus] on themselves and their own—presumably negative—experience. By showing their anger, frustration, or disappointment, they are soliciting attention from their confidantes."
Venting is sometimes necessary to productively express frustration about a person or a problem—but gossiping isn't. Gossip is spread maliciously while venting relieves pent-up frustration. Gossiping is ill-intentioned and mean-spirited and can cause destruction of a person's humanity or reputation.