Rushing your relationship, expecting and giving too much too soon is one of the main ways you might push your partner away. Putting too much pressure on your partner to take long-term decisions when you have only started seeing and knowing each other will make them extremely uncomfortable (Sama, 2014).
The psychology of pushing people away 101
There's generally a valid reason why we start pushing away those we love: Trauma, breakups, or mental health crises reduce our sense of self-worth. We fear rejection, leading us to avoid the risk of emotionally investing in people. Our behavior changes.
Be kind to yourself.
Remind yourself that crushes come and go, and many don't turn into anything more. Give yourself time to process your feelings while focusing on yourself, your hobbies, and things that bring you joy.
The reason you can't get over your crush is that you have accidentally trained yourself into a mental habit of constantly seeking them. The excitement and euphoria of that initial romantic connection makes them the central focus of your life, and because it feels so intoxicating and good, you don't resist.
You could be suffering from Limerence — a cognitive state of obsession and infatuation. You may be fixated with having your feelings reciprocated. You refuse to give up because you know it's meant to be. Very common in the world of Twin Flames.
Even if we know the chemical processes in the brain, we may still not understand why crushes develop or why we are drawn to certain people and not others. There are five components to attraction and developing a crush: physical attractiveness, proximity, similarity, reciprocity, and familiarity.
They find ways to spend time with you
You try to find excuses to spend time with them as well. And when you meet up, you will sense they have eyes and ears for you and you alone. They will take the lead to make plans with you. They will listen to all your stories no matter how long or boring or detailed they are.
If a boy really has a crush on you, then he'll be likely to give you all of his attention. He'll turn his body toward you, make eye contact, and won't look around for his other friends or text them during your conversation (unless he uses his phone as a crutch because he's nervous).
Distract yourself with new challenges.
Focus on your passions instead of worrying about the person ignoring you. Learning something new or devoting your time to something you care about will really help you move on and can take the sting out of feeling ignored.
He feels that sharing his true feelings might ruin your friendship with him. Or he fears being in painful one-sided love, so he thinks it is better not to act upon his feelings and maintain distance from you to avoid getting hurt.
Depending on your age this can probably go different ways. Younger and less mature boys may run away because they don't understand their feelings towards you and are scared to address them. While if they're older and more mature it probably means they don't really like you that much.
Here are the typical signs someone is attracted to you:
They tilt their head as you speak (a sign of engagement). They smile at you. They make eye contact with you. They reach out and touch your arm, hand, back, or leg.
Interest is the initial stage of having a crush. It starts with the locking of eyes and ends with butterflies in your stomach. You feel giddy as soon as you see them, and you are eager to know their name.
You might find that this person that you barely know is extremely funny, charming, strong, humble, and captivating. You might be thinking about them so much because they seem so rare. They might have a unique combination of traits that you admire and desire.
Maybe they aren't looking to be in a relationship right now, or they have something else going on in their lives that they need to focus on. It could be that they do think you're really great, but the timing is just off. If your crush needs that space, they are entitled to it.
Try Not To Avoid Your Crush
If you avoid your crush, the distance may keep your fantasy of them at the forefront of your mind. To start moving forward, consider talking to the individual or spending time with them as close friends without flirting or thinking of them romantically.