Most couples date for two or more years before getting engaged, with many dating anywhere from two to five years.
Although many people think of moving in together as a helpful “test run” for marriage, research has tended to show that couples who live together before marriage actually run a higher risk of divorce than those who do not.
Psychologists and DU psychology professors Galena Rhoades and Scott Stanley say their findings indicate that living together before being engaged can actually decrease a couple's odds of a successful marriage.
The benefit of living together pre-marriage is that you can learn more about each other, strengthen your joint ability to problem-solve, and reinforce your relationship and ability to navigate stressors, which can instill more confidence in your decision to get married.
In 2021 the median age of men was 30.8 years, and women 29.4 years. It is also worth noting that the gap in median age at first marriage between men and women has narrowed from 2.3 years in 1980, to 1.8 in 2000 and 1.4 years between 2019 and 2021.
In the US, nearly 40% of engagements happen in the two-and-a-half months between Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day, according to a survey of 18,000 people. December, in particular, is the peak month for getting engaged – with Christmas Eve a particularly popular date.
Earnshaw offers a shorter time frame—she says people typically date for about two years on average before getting engaged—but she emphasizes that every relationship is different. "I have worked with couples who have gotten engaged within six months and those that have waited much, much longer."
A guy who is ready to propose will most likely demonstrate changes in his behavior, especially if you've been dating for several years already. As he tries to plan things secretly, he might act like he's busy with something that he tends to ignore your messages or requests.
You may hear some "love at first sight" couples say you can get engaged after a few days, while experts may say wait three to six months. But even though everyone has an opinion on the matter, from "You're jumping in too quickly" to "It took him too long to propose," there isn't a magic formula.
How long should you wait before proposing? Although there are a few things to consider before popping the question, there is no hard and fast rule for how soon is too soon to propose. It's less about the time passing and more about what you've been through as a couple.
And is this the right time to propose? Engagement season is usually from November through to February. The reason so many couples betroth themselves to one another during this time of year is most likely due to the joy, excitement and romance of the festive season, New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day.
When Is Wedding Off-Season? In contrast, winter is considered the off-season for weddings. Only 11% of weddings took place between December and February last year, making it the least popular season to get married. February is the least popular month for weddings, accounting for just 3% of them in 2022.
Here in Australia, our wedding season extends from September to May, with March, April, October and November (Autumn and Spring) being the most popular months for ceremonies. For engagements, however, the seasons are flipped, with Summer and Winter being the most popular months to get engaged.
The engagement:
60% of engagements in Australia are formed with the ring as a surprise for the recipient, while 24% of couples are choosing an engagement ring/s together, and just 6% of couples are forming their engagement with no ring at all. Typically, they have been engaged for 22 months when they get married.
Asking both parents for permission shows that you respect them equally, and are serious about marriage and combining your families. This is huge step in your life and your future spouse's.
When it comes to proposing -- and I just know, you want it to be perfect and romantic -- never, but never, propose on Valentine's Day. Scratch Christmas, too. Might as well rule out Christmas Eve, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa. And don't even think about popping the question on your true love's birthday.
It's OK to feel scared, anxious, or sad after getting engaged. It doesn't mean you don't love your partner. It simply means you're adjusting mentally and emotionally to this giant life change that just took place in your life.
Traditionalists say you should kneel on the left knee, like a proper knight. Most people are right side-dominant, so using your right leg might be more reliable. Studies and surveys on kneeling to propose universally ignore which knee hits the ground. Your partner probably won't notice which knee you use.
The truth of the matter is that there is no right or wrong length of time to wait to get engaged. Some couples wait six years before making it official, while others date for just six months—it all depends on your unique circumstances.