It is absolutely possible that your partner does love you, did love you before, and will continue to love you in the future. Infidelity does not mean that the love is gone or never existed. The reality is that you can love someone and still cheat on them.
It's really hard to understand why people cheat on people they love. Sometimes, people decide to cheat because they feel unloved, or like they have fallen out of love, with their partner. Sometimes, they feel the romance is gone from their relationship, and having an illicit romance gives them a sense of excitement.
In your own honest way, tell her the magnitude of your regret, and how upset you for hurting her. “Say what you feel, but don't act up, dramatize, or be fake,” Badinter says. “If you still love your girlfriend, and you really are sorry, your apology will be sincere and she'll feel it,” he adds.
Though confessing to what you did doesn't minimize the fact that you cheated, it does prevent the damage that could be caused by keeping a secret. So here's your damage control plan, according to Skyler: Tell them, take accountability, be remorseful, and try to move forward by re-building trust.
Confessing is crucial if you're invested in someone other than your partner, she adds. That's because your affair could be a sign that some elements—say, sexual intimacy or other kinds of closeness—are missing from your current relationship, and you'll need to address them if you want your union to survive.
Cheating can shake a relationship to its core, but there are ways to forgive your partner after infidelity occurs. A cheater has to be remorseful about their actions if they want a chance to repair the relationship, Matt Lundquist, a psychotherapist and director of Tribeca Therapy, told INSIDER.
In practice, it tends to be uncommon for a relationship to survive instances of cheating. One study found that only about 16 percent of couples who'd experienced unfaithfulness were able to work it out.
For some, cheating is a way to explore repressed parts of the self. These cheaters don't actually want to change the core of who they are; they just want to escape the constraints of that for a little while. They're not looking for another person; they're looking for hidden versions of themselves.
Give her space
Let her and give her time. Do not bombard her with calls and messages on how you love her and are going to change. Leave her alone and don't expect to her talk to you at all. No matter how lonely you get, don't call her and give her time to figure out the situation.
According to the General Social Survey, men are more likely to cheat than women, with 20% of men and 13% of women reporting having sex with someone other than their partner while still married. However, the gender gap varies per age.
#2 Write your apology for cheating
Tell your partner that you're aware of the pain you've caused, and stress the fact that you were wrong. Let your partner know they didn't deserve it, and you feel intense remorse over whatever you did. Avoid over-explaining yourself.
The participants admitted to cheating in their relationship and answered the question at the root of the mystery: Why did you do it? An analysis revealed eight key reasons: anger, self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and situation or circumstance.
Telling your partner and therefore immediately unburdening yourself of your mistake is actually pretty selfish, she says. "You're the one sitting with the guilt, and if [the affair] is over and done, you absolutely don't want to then put that on your partner," she told the site.
Statistics show that only 31% of marriages last after the affair has been discovered or admitted to. People who are unfaithful to their partners regret causing their loved one so much pain and heartache. Even if the couple decides to stay together, it's very hard for them to have a trust-based, happy relationship.
In general, cheating is acting behind your partner's back or against their expectations or mutual promises. In many cases, flirting is cheating when your partner doesn't approve or your actions can go against the relationship or your partner. If you're in a committed romantic relationship, you can choose love.
Why do people cheat? A wide variety of factors can bring out some type of affair. A study of 495 people revealed eight key reasons: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and circumstance.
It turns out, however, that all of us may get a little boost when we cheat, and researchers showed for the first time that, although people think they'll feel guilty after doing something dishonest or unethical, they actually enjoy a lift in mood instead.
Be honest, use full disclosure about the affair, and find a way to atone or express remorse. Deal with the traumatic feelings after the discovery and be willing to ask and answer questions. Must end the affair. Be willing to apologize for cheating in a sincere way and promise not to repeat it.
Research shows that 30-60% of married people cheat on their partners and that an average affair in these situations often lasts for around two years. These statistics are shocking.