Consider setting boundaries with the narcissist, letting them know that you won't tolerate being ignored or disrespected and that you expect open and respectful communication. If your partner's coping mechanism is to give the silent treatment, communicate how that makes you feel.
Give the narcissist a taste of their own medicine by ignoring them. If they give you the silent treatment then don't respond back. Don't answer their calls or texts, don't check on them or care for them when they are sick, stop being nice to them if you've been doing that, etc.
Depending on the method used, it can make the person on the receiving end feel powerless, invisible, intimidated, insignificant, “dissed”, looked down on, disapproved of, guilty, frustrated, and even angry. Let's start with some four common examplesof silent treatment (there are more):
To Punish You
If you have done something to upset a narcissist, they may also use the silent treatment as a punishment to prevent you from challenging or upsetting them again in the future. While the short-term goal can be to regain control, this is also a tactic to ensure long-term influence.
They will get fearful and nervous as soon as you begin ignoring them. This is what happens when you ignore a narcissist. They may start to obsess around you even more by sending text messages like “I sincerely apologize” or “May we talk?” Don't mind them, and witness the effects of ignoring a narcissist.
If you didn't know already, the silent treatment is when someone refuses to communicate verbally and/or electronically with someone who is willing to communicate. A narcissist's silent treatment can last for hours, days, weeks, or even months.
A narcissist uses ignoring people as a way to punish them. Especially if they feel like you are pulling away. Or, you've inflicted a narcissistic injury on them. A narcissist has a fundamentally unstable sense of self.
While you won't get any closure, consider yourself lucky if it happens. More often, the narcissist will go silent for some period of time, and then return as if nothing happened. They may have found a new source of supply but had a falling out with them and now they need something from you.
If you were to use the silent treatment against the narcissist in your life, you would be making it very easy for them to manipulate you into a negative interaction because you wouldn't be making conscious and well-informed decisions.
Most narcissists can't tolerate being ignored; the act of silent treatment strikes the narcissist much harder because of their need to feel validated. As the narcissist understands that you are intentionally ignoring them will deflate their inflated ego.
Well, silence can be a powerful tool when dealing with a narcissist. If they are used to dominating the conversation, silence can make them uncomfortable. You can force them to confront their behavior and make them fear you by remaining silent.
A narcissist may have a breakdown if their supply is cut off and they feel vulnerable, embarrassed, or out of control. Narcissistic breakdown symptoms can include rage, impulsive behaviors, or other ways of showcasing intense mental suffering.
If you have ever interacted with a person who exhibits strong narcissistic or other dark personality traits, you have likely experienced what is known as the silent treatment.
When the ignoring comes at a time they need to replenish a waning supply, they ignore to devalue you. Devaluation occurs when the narcissist no longer believes you provide any value to their image or sense of worth. They devalue you to make you feel powerless, so they can feel powerful.
They are often driven from agitation into an aggressive rage with a simple trigger. Any small play against their ego, perfectionism, or a slight action against their image of self-worth, may be enough to trigger narcissistic rage.
Since narcissists require almost constant admiration, validation and even blind obedience in some cases – when you don't give them attention, they'll often become quite brittle – reacting in a variety of negative ways including rage, petulance, insults, and may even try to undermine you in other sectors of your life ( ...
If someone displays unmanageable emotions and easily flies off the handle, this is a serious red flag. Responding with uncontrollable rage or the "silent treatment" could point to abusive (physical or emotional) behavior in the future, says Trombetti.
The person using the silent treatment may abruptly leave the house and stay out, or completely ignore the other partner the rest of the night, knowing this would be upsetting. In some cases, the use of the silent treatment may last for days or weeks.
The silent treatment might be employed by passive personality types to avoid conflict and confrontation, while strong personality types use it to punish or control. Some people may not even consciously choose it at all.
The silent treatment is a temporary discard. How often this happens is an indicator of underlying factors and, in a long-term relationship, will be a familiar pattern of behaviour rather than isolated incidences with people with narcissistic tendencies.