Often, the reasons why family members choose you as a scapegoat have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. So, focus on self-care and positive affirmations. Take time away from them if needed and practice positive self-talk each day, such as: “I will not be a victim of unfair blame.”
The family scapegoat is singled out and blamed for problems in the family. The burden of dysfunction of the group is placed on one member, regardless of the true causes of these issues. This person can be a child, step-child, troublesome uncle, or even a family friend.
More specifically: Scapegoated adults often feel debilitated by self-doubt and 'imposter syndrome' in their relationships and in the work-place, and blame themselves for their difficulties.
People who scapegoat others have certain particular traits; theseinclude a sense of superiority and pride, a large ego which needs maintaining, feelings of entitlement and grandiosity, limited personal self-reflection,poor character, self-righteousness, and hypocrisy. Did I mention arrogance?
For individuals, scapegoating is a psychological defense mechanism of denial through projecting responsibility and blame on others. [2] It allows the perpetrator to eliminate negative feelings about him or herself and provides a sense of gratification.
Since the golden child has been trained to be an actor, they fail to embrace an authentic relationship with their sibling, scapegoat. There will always be sibling rivalry, which not only have they instigated but they appreciate it since it causes the separation.
Those who scapegoat are aware of their negativity and blaming. Unconsciously, though, scapegoating often reflects feelings about ourselves that make us deeply uncomfortable, whether they stem from struggling financially, failing at relationships, or being terrified of loss of control, illness or death.
Effects of Being a Scapegoat
Trauma: Being deprived of a family's love, singled out as the “bad one” in the household, and having one's positive attributes overlooked can set up a child for a lifetime of emotional and psychological distress, where they struggle believing they are good, worthy, competent, or likable.
Family scapegoats could find themselves in abusive environments for the rest of their lives or even become abusers themselves if they don't address the trauma that their abusive upbringing created. An upbringing in an unhealthy/abusive environment will corrupt the victim's definition of love and healthy relationships.
They might try to defy authority or argue when they disagree with something. Or, they may be so used to being perceived as a failure that they don't even try to succeed. Impaired self-esteem: More than anything, almost all scapegoats struggle with a damaged sense of self.
One of the greatest challenges faced by adult survivors of family scapegoating abuse (FSA) is the tendency to ruminate over past painful incidents with family or be consumed by feelings of low self-worth, shame, anger, or grief.
Often, the reasons why family members choose you as a scapegoat have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. So, focus on self-care and positive affirmations. Take time away from them if needed and practice positive self-talk each day, such as: “I will not be a victim of unfair blame.”
Scapegoating is a deliberately alienating experience, designed to harm you. Sadly, healthy reconciliation rarely happens, not because you have done anything wrong, but because perpetrators won't allow you to stop being the scapegoat.
The narcissist charms everyone around them. They manipulate others to support their distorted version of reality. All the while, they enjoy the feeling of power they get from making the scapegoat suffer. The narcissist is driven by envy, jealousy and a lack of empathy.
The Hero may identify as the Lost Child if they feel the rest of the family does not acknowledge their achievements. Sometimes the Lost Child plays the role of Scapegoat, disappearing from the family's radar until they become entangled in a family dispute against their will.
Studies have shown that the scapegoat does better in life than the “golden child”. Because they have had to fend for themselves most of their life, and haven't been spoiled like the golden child has. The scapegoat is forced to be more independent, and think for themselves, and be stronger.
Most targets on some level, feel anger in response to being abused by scapegoating. Sadly this anger is often misdirected towards themselves. This anger can also range from a barely discernable feelings of resentment, to complete rage towards others who have mistreated them.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological and emotional abuse where victims are made to question themselves and their grasp of reality. Different types of gaslighting include reality manipulation or questioning, outright lies, trivializing, scapegoating, and coercion.
The scapegoat was sent into the wilderness for Azazel, possibly for the purpose of placating that evil spirit, while a separate goat was slain as an offering to God. By extension, a scapegoat has come to mean any group or individual that innocently bears the blame of others.
They see themselves as dispossessed of their own expanding capabilities. They believe that they cannot do anything right. A scapegoat child who believes their growth is dangerous will also disavow it. Their increased physical strength could make them hurt other people.
Scapegoating is a specific form of verbal abuse that permits the family to think it is healthier than it is. Made to feel like an outlier, the scapegoated child is often bullied by both parents and siblings. Despite the psychological and emotional damage, the scapegoat is able to recognize the abuse and act on it.
For example, a woman who has just had a fight with her boyfriend may kick her dog for minor misbehavior when she comes home. The dog, in this instance, becomes the scapegoat and pays the price for the fight she had with her boyfriend.