Neediness: Narcissists are emotionally dependent on others for external validation, but their needs often exceed what others can provide to them. This is often a trigger for the narcissist discard phase.
The narcissist sees people as objects they use to meet their needs, and to discard when the person no longer serves a purpose for them. A narcissist will discard when the person no longer can boost the narc's ego or be the fuel to replenish their narcissistic supply.
Though typical narcissists do not discard people because they crave attention, covert narcissists may go to extreme measures to permanently discard you.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value.
Narcissists are attracted to certain types of people. Rather than weak, vulnerable people, they tend to go for the strong-willed and talented. They are also attracted to people who reflect well on themselves.
Maybe you have a high-status job, a large social circle, or a talent that makes you sought after. If they're always thinking what a catch you are, they'll be obsessed with keeping you. The narcissist thinks it reflects well on them to have someone special, skilled, or capable interested in them.
Daramus lists some reasons why a person with narcissistic tendencies might discard you: You were too difficult for them to control. You were easily manipulated by them, causing them to look down upon you. You no longer fuel their ego, so they've moved on to someone else who can supply what they need.
Keeping Secrets. Being more secretive may also be a sign of narcissistic discard. People with NPD may begin to hide things from the other person, withhold information, or behave in more secretive ways. For example, they might refuse to tell someone what their plans are, where they're going, or what they've been doing.
The phrase “keep tabs” means to carefully watch (someone or something) in order to learn what that person or thing is doing. Narcissists frequently keep tabs on the people that they've discarded because it allows them to gather the information that they need to maintain power and control.
Long-term relationships are boring to narcissists. They are drawn by the chase and may idealize the partners they can't have. They may appear to be charming, generous, and caring at first. But when they have you, they begin to get bored and to look for your faults.
Sometimes a triggering event will motivate the narcissist to leave. These are usually life-altering events for one of you. If you become ill or incapacitated or unable or unwilling to participate in the life the narcissist has designed, that may prompt the narcissist to leave.
Following a discard, many narcissists will leave you alone for a while. Not only do they want you to feel worthless and undeserving of your time, but they're probably searching for better romantic prospects. The key to getting a narcissist to chase you is to show them what they're missing out on.
The narcissist uses ignoring you as a way to punish for some wrongdoing you committed. They don't feel the need to tell you what the wrongdoing was, they just jump into ignoring you as quick as possible to protect themselves from further narcissistic injury.
The final discard is generally when the narcissist leaves you, often for the first time. He or she may end the relationship, or the individual will just up and leave out of nowhere with no explanation, leaving you to wonder what happened.
Narcissists are motivated by feeling superior and expanding their power, and so the only things that matter when helping others are receiving adulation, fame, influence, opportunities, notoriety, and other resources. They dont actually care about others because to them other people are just things to use.
They want to be the center of your attention at all times. Make your narcissist work harder to impress you by giving some subtle, flirty attention to another person (It doesn't take much). A gentle touch on someone's arm while they're talking or some sugary compliments will trigger a narcissist's possessiveness.
They get jealous about everything
They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.
The truth is that nothing can make a narcissist happy, because their agenda of dominance, exploitation and oppression creates an ever-expanding chasm within their soul. The narcissist can take pleasure in the exercise of power and the subjugation of others, but they can't feel happiness from any source.
It is a complicated mental illness centering on an individual's inflated sense of self-importance accompanied by a lack of empathy for other people. While this is an intimidating definition, narcissistic individuals can and do fall in love and commit to romantic involvements.
The relationship cycle typical of extreme narcissistic abuse generally follows a pattern. Individuals in emotionally abusive relationships experience a dizzying whirlwind that includes three stages: idealization, devaluing, and discarding.