Ghosting itself reflects some classic traits of a narcissist, including low self-esteem, the need to have the upper hand in a relationship, and a lack of empathy for the other person. Someone with this personality disorder forms relationships based on how they may benefit them.
According to Latimer, people who are more likely to ghost tend to have personality and behavior traits that are avoidant, manipulative, and self-centered.
Ghosting is a form of passive rejection and it's also indicative of emotionally immature people. It doesn't feel like it now, but they really did do you a favor by disappearing from your life. You can't have a healthy relationship with someone who can't be honest with how they feel.
Ghosting is abruptly ending communication with someone without explanation. The concept most often refers to romantic relationships but can also describe disappearances from friendships and the workplace. People respond to being ghosted in many ways, from feeling indifferent to deeply betrayed.
Ghosting is a signal of a weak or strained connection.
Ghosting is a big red flag that we might be losing someone we love or someone we wanted to love. If someone ghosts you, they are either playing a game or they don't care about you right now.
Ghosting is sometimes referred to as a form of cowardice: the refusal to acknowledge one's own misconduct. And cognitive dissonance may play a role as well. Our brains naturally focus on information that confirms a preexisting belief about something, even when other evidence indicates that we might be wrong.
Ghosting hurts; it's a cruel rejection. It is particularly painful because you are left with no rationale, no guidelines for how to proceed, and often a heap of emotions to sort through on your own. If you suffer from any abandonment or self-esteem issues, being ghosted may bring them to the forefront.
The act of ghosting is a power move that someone with narcissistic personality disorder may use. There are many reasons why someone might ghost you. It may be because they lost interest and want to avoid the conflict of telling you this personally. It may be they want to see your reaction and how much you care.
A person ghosting typically has little acknowledgment of how it will make the other person feel. Ghosting is associated with negative mental health effects on the person on the receiving end and has been described by some mental health professionals as a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse or cruelty.
It shows you have no respect for another person's feelings. It say you are inconsiderate and don't care much about the impact or consequences of your actions. It's easier than breaking up but it also shows you have no character when you choose easy over integrity.
Relationship Theories and Ghosting
In some cases, ghosting isn't tied to a mental illness or personality disorder. Instead, it has more to do with how a person sees romantic relationships. Some researchers categorize relationship mindsets as either growth or destiny.
Ghosting demonstrates a lack of respect for the other person's feelings and a lack of empathy for how the ghosting may impact them. They assume that the other person will “get the hint” and can use this to justify their actions.
After ghosting a partner, 65% of ghosters feel anxiety, awkwardness and guilt. This may vary from concerns of running into the ghostee in the future to simply hurting someone's feelings.
Intentionally ignoring a person without an explanation is one of the most passive aggressive forms of human behavior there is — it denotes a certain disdain for the person being ignored. It suggests a weakness of character and is a red flag that indicates an unresolved issue on behalf of the “ghoster.”
ESTPs and ENTJs have the potential to be the most toxic personality types. They have a tendency to be egotistical, competitive, and controlling. This does not mean everyone with these personality types is toxic. But it is important to be aware of these tendencies that can lead to unhealthy behavior.
INTJs are typically very quiet and reserved unless they happen to meet someone who, like them, loves exploring theoretical concepts, analyzing possibilities, and dreaming up long-term goals. That said, they're not typically very verbal when it comes to discussing their feelings or people's personal lives.
If we're being real, it's easier to ignore a problem until it just goes away than having to face an uncomfortable situation, but ghosting is selfish and cowardly. "Though a ghoster's intentions aren't necessarily malicious, the behavior is ultimately selfish and childish," says Meyers.
Traumatic Effects of Being Ghosted
Sometimes, the trauma may seem like depression. Other times, ghosting can cause anxiety and panic attacks. Still other times trauma may lead to obsessive thoughts and confusion. Finally, trauma may also make you feel profound shame.
Ghosting refers to the practice of ending relationships by simply disappearing from the other person's life and stopping communication without giving any valid reason. It's often seen as an immature or passive-aggressive way to break up, and in some instances, it can be a form of emotional abuse.
So, let's revisit the question: Can ghosting be considered an act of self-care? For me, the answer is no. Ghosting and self-care do not align with my personal definition of self-care. While establishing healthy boundaries is an essential component of self-care, it does require communication.
It negatively impacts friendships and romantic relationships. Ghosting is done by many of us living with bipolar disorder, especially during bipolar depressive episodes.
At its worst, ghosting is a trauma that can affect your willingness to trust others again or enter into future relationships. You might find yourself so fixated on getting closure from the ghoster that you can't move forward.
By not officially ending things or giving you proper closure, it's easier for them to reappear in your life at a later time. Most ghosting scenarios are unforgivable, so when/if a ghoster reappears don't give them the satisfaction of a second chance or forgiveness.
Ghosters sometimes come back for selfish reasons. They might not want you to move on, or they could be bored and looking for a hookup. Some ghosters come back because they want favors or emotional support. On the other hand, a ghoster could come back if they miss you.