Narcissists often look for victims who struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem. People who think less of themselves and struggle with the “I am not enough” mindset tend to attract toxic partners. People with self-esteem issues tend to think of themselves as imperfect or unlovable.
They make you feel good (sometimes).
"As a result, a narcissist may be attracted to an individual who possesses attributes that they value and that they believe will enhance their image." If you look good to other people, they hope that makes them look good.
Everybody has self-esteem problems, but narcissists often exploit them because of their “ego-centric” personalities. Narcissists are drawn to those who have self-esteem problems, such as those who have experienced abuse, trauma, or identity issues.
1. ESTP. ESTPs win the title for the most narcissistic personality type. That doesn't mean all ESTPs are narcissists, but this type is more likely to display narcissistic tendencies than any other.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
It is the person who has become codependent (as a result of prior experiences) who is actually most vulnerable to narcissists.
In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity.
People with type A personalities attract narcissists, but a relationship between the two is a recipe for disaster.
Narcissists struggle to get along with anyone who doesn't fit into their falsified worldview. They can't stand to be challenged. They can't tolerate the ideas that other people may know more than them.
Empaths are "emotional sponges," who can absorb feelings from other people very easily. This makes them them very attractive to narcissists, because they see someone who will fulfill their every need in a selfless way.
If you have low self-esteem, this could be something that a narcissist will likely notice about you and want to take advantage of. Moreover, those with low self-esteem may be trying to get attention in a way where they will continue to get hurt. Essentially, it could cause you to seek out narcissists as partners.
In fact, the love language of the narcissist is to get you to do all the work of the relationship. They feel “loved” when you are proving your love and loyalty. They believe you are invested into the relationship when you invest more into them than you invest in you.
They get jealous about everything
They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
There are anecdotal observations suggesting that the average length of a narcissistic relationship is around six months, but no empirical evidence supports this claim. Some people get married to narcissists and stay with them for years, while others leave or are left after a few weeks or months.
Strong, confident women often have an abundance of empathy, which can also give them a higher tolerance for manipulative tendencies that are commonly displayed by narcissists. Narcissists feed off of this tolerance and patience, intuitively knowing that they can push boundaries in both very big and very small ways.
They like people who are strong
A common misconception is that narcissists go for the weak, because they are easier to manipulate. In fact, narcissists prefer to target someone who is strong-willed, and who has talents or characteristics they admire, because they believe it makes them shine too.
Highly empathetic individuals make perfect targets for the affection of a narcissist because those high in empathy, by definition, care greatly for the feelings of others and make people feel valued and special.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
Narcissists tend to target those they believe they can easily exploit or those who will go along with the narcissist's dysfunction. They can easily sense someone who is self-conscious or appears to have low self-esteem, mainly by their body language and how they present themselves in public and intimate conversations.
One of the most common ways a narcissist, especially the covert types, will try to test you is through the silent treatment. They will simply stay silent and ignore you because they want to get a rise out of you. They want you to go back to them and grovel for their forgiveness and validation.