Freud (1914/1957) proposed that parental overvaluation, together with a lack of warmth for the child's needs, is associated with higher traits of narcissism. Entitlement, a core aspect of both grandiose and vulnerable narcissism, may be encouraged by a parenting style that is both overvaluing and lenient [18, 23, 24].
We demonstrate that narcissism in children is cultivated by parental overvaluation: parents believing their child to be more special and more entitled than others. In contrast, high self-esteem in children is cultivated by parental warmth: parents expressing affection and appreciation toward their child.
What causes NPD? As with many personality disorders, the exact cause of NPD is unknown. It is probably a mixture of genes, early childhood experiences and psychological factors. Early childhood risk factors include excessive praise or judgement by parents, trauma or abuse.
Considering multiple parenting styles and maltreatment, remembered parental overprotection, overvaluation and leniency appeared to be associated with higher narcissistic traits in young people.
Scientists believe that the full onset of NPD may occur when interpersonal development is compromised, for example: Being born with an oversensitive temperament. Learning manipulative behavior from parents or peers. Being excessively praised for good behaviors and excessively criticized for bad behaviors.
Is NPD genetic? No, there is no gene for NPD, and people are not born with it. Like other mental health conditions, environment is a major factor.
Although for the most part psychoanalyst experts agree that the narcissistic personality disorder appears in most sufferers at around the age of 18, they do also believe that the groundwork for these traits is laid in early childhood.
Studies have shown that the permissive parenting style is most likely to foster narcissism in a child. Permissive parents are often overly indulgent and provide too much praise, failing to set limits or provide structure for their kids.
Yes, narcissists usually worsen with age. As their physical beauty or influence wanes, they struggle to maintain the admiration and attention they crave. This can lead to an intensification of their narcissistic behaviors, such as manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional abuse.
Narcissistic or Controlling: Sometimes Linked, Sometimes Not
While these two types may seem closely allied and even interchangeable—narcissists can be controlling, and controllers can be narcissistic—they have different motivations, as well as distinct ways of justifying their behaviors.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'”
Understanding the condition better can help you manage your expectations and give yourself permission to prioritize your needs. While most people with NPD are not aware that they are narcissists, it's important to remember that no abuse is acceptable or excusable.
Final Thoughts on the Red Flags of a Narcissist
Narcissistic individuals often exhibit traits such as a lack of empathy, manipulative behavior, and an inflated sense of self-importance. It's essential to understand that dealing with a narcissist can be draining and challenging.
Most recent theories have focused on the link between narcissism and negative childhood experiences, such as physical or sexual violence, neglect, or rejection [10,11].
According to Thomaes & Brummelman, the development of narcissism begins at around the ages of 7 or 8.
Some narcissists may have healthy, loving relationships with their mothers, but many will struggle due to their narcissistic character traits. The narcissist's need for admiration and validation means they will often put unrealistic demands on their mothers, while their need for control makes them manipulative.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
Apologize. If you've heard someone say, “Narcissists never apologize,” they're not exactly right. While many traits of narcissism like entitlement, elitism, and arrogance make it unlikely someone with narcissistic traits will go the apology route, apologies are sometimes used with ulterior motives.
According to Julie L. Hall, author of “The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free,” narcissists become more extreme versions of their worst selves as they age, which includes becoming more desperate, deluded, paranoid, angry, abusive, and isolated.
Narcissistic mothers often use shame, gaslighting, dismissal and manipulation in order to get their own needs met, which can leave their daughters feeling like their mother's behaviors were their fault.
Narcissistic parents are often emotionally abusive to their children, holding them to impossible and constantly changing expectations. Those with narcissistic personality disorder are highly sensitive and defensive. They tend to lack self-awareness and empathy for other people, including their own children.
A narcissistic mother may feel entitled or self-important, seek admiration from others, believe she is above others, lack empathy, exploit her children, put others down, experience hypersensitivity to criticism, believe she deserves special treatment, and worst of all, maybe naïve to the damage she is causing.
What is a narcissistic relationship abuse pattern? The four stages of the narcissistic abuse cycle are: Idealization, Devaluation, Repetition, and Discard.
Yes. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V), Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is one of several personality disorders and is defined as a mental illness that is associated with a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration and lack of empathy.
Most experts agree that a mix of environmental, social, cultural, and genetic factors are involved in the development of narcissistic traits.