According to relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein, LCSW, as it turns out, the first year really is the hardest—even if you've already lived together. In fact, it often doesn't matter if you've been together for multiple years, the start of married life is still tricky.
While there are countless divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8. Of those two high-risk periods, there are two years in particular that stand out as the most common years for divorce — years 7 and 8.
According to a team of researchers from Pennsylvania State and Brigham Young University, married couples reached their happiest point at the 20-year mark. For the study, scientists looked at relationship satisfaction in 2,034 marriages with an average age of 35-37.
The 7-Year Itch is the idea that marriages start to decline or end in divorce around the seven-year mark due to boredom or even unhappiness. Either one or both partners can feel the 7-Year Itch and can be produced by several different factors, including: Lack of communication. Miscommunication.
Some of the most common include disagreements over money, infidelity, lack of communication, passive aggressive behavior and more. Other reasons for divorce include longer life expectancy, which may compel older couples to divorce, or the mental and emotional strain that comes with having young children.
The seven-year itch is said to be the amount of time, on average, that relationships or marriages last but in actual fact, science suggests it may be more like 12 years. It's easy for relationships to become a little stagnant if we don't put the work in and make an effort to keep them fresh over the longer term.
The survey found that many couples struggle in year five, when kids and flourishing careers make competing demands on a couple's relationship. The survey also found that the seven year itch is a real thing; couples reported that seven years in is “the wall,” which, if scaled, bodes well for a long marriage.
“The ideal age to get married, with the least likelihood of divorce in the first five years, is 28 to 32,” says Carrie Krawiec, a marriage and family therapist at Birmingham Maple Clinic in Troy, Michigan. “Called the 'Goldilocks theory,' the idea is that people at this age are not too old and not too young.”
The average age for couples going through their first divorce is 30 years old. 24. 60 percent of all divorces involve individuals aged 25 to 39.
It is no surprise, then, that marital infidelity is a leading cause of divorce. Just how common is marital infidelity? According to a study from the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, as many as 25 percent of married men and 15 percent of married women have had extramarital affairs.
Elementary school age (6–12) This is arguably the toughest age for children to deal with the separation or divorce of their parents.
A study led by the American Sociological Association determined that nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women. And the percentage of college-educated American women who initiated divorce is even higher.
In 2020, the median length from marriage to separation in Australia was 8.4 years. In the same year, the median duration of marriage to divorce was 12.1 years.
Scientists have discovered that couples begin to grow fed up with each other after just four years and are at peak risk of divorce just before their fifth anniversary.
What is the average length of marriage? On average, the length of a marriage in the U.S. is seven to eight years. Some states have a higher rate than others, but the divorce rate for the country is around 50%.
"Just being in a relationship and being committed to it, just showing up every day is an expression of [his] love," Chethik said. So what makes a man happy in a marriage? "Acceptance and appreciation. We want to be needed," he said.
Respect each other
One of the greatest rules of a happy marriage is respect. Even when you're fighting, you have to maintain respect for each other in order for things to work. It's important to keep calm when you have disagreements.
According to Stanford University, “… nearly 70% of women initiated a divorce.” Psychologists argue that this is the result of building resentment resulting from years of emotional miscommunication.
In their 2006 book, The 7 Stages of Marriage, marriage therapist DeMaria and co-writer Harrar present the 7 stages as: Passion, Realization, Rebellion, Cooperation, Reunion, Explosion and Completion.
The most common reasons people break up usually involve a lack of emotional intimacy, sexual incompatibility, differences in life goals, and poor communication and conflict resolution skills. There are no wrong or good reasons to break up. However, some things in a relationship are just outrightly unacceptable.