“Ghosting” – simply ceasing to communicate with a person without explaining why – allows people to avoid difficult conversations and simply phase a friend out of their life. “I think it's a lot to do with how we communicate now,” says Marianne, 46. “Face-to-face screaming rows don't tend to happen.
Sometimes, people initiate the cut-off because they feel some sort of way about your friendship. And have been for awhile. Maybe they've been feeling neglected, maybe you've been really overbearing (and didn't know this), maybe you were really insensitive (and weren't aware of this).
Absolutely not. Cutting someone out of your life means you are no longer obligated to them in any way, shape, or form, including communicating with them. Chances are, they know why you are cutting them out, even if they don't want to admit it.
Reach out to them
But do remember that you might not get the response you want. People who initiate sudden cut-offs aren't really going to be ready to tell you the reasons they did so and some of them have no desire of ever talking to you. So do bear that in mind if you reach out and never hear back.
If your friend doesn't respect your feelings, it's an unhealthy relationship. Feeling anxious or negative in your friendship is a sign that it may be best to end it. Your friend is dishonest or holds back information. “Deep connections require trust,” Schmitt says.
They're never around in difficult times
So, being too busy, citing excuses, or flaking out on you every time you need help or support is one of the unmistakable signs your friend doesn't truly care about you.
Whereas healthy and appropriate boundaries involve being able to have physical and emotional distance while still being in relationship, cutoff is an extreme form of boundary-setting that involves ending the relationship completely.
Completely drop them
If your friend is being physically or emotionally abusive or making you feel like crap – for example, they call you names to put you down, physically hurt you, threaten you or control you – this is not okay. You don't owe them anything and you have the right to remove yourself from the situation.
The concept of emotional cutoff describes how people manage their unresolved emotional issues with parents, siblings, and other family members by reducing or totally cutting off emotional contact with them.
It's Easy for Your Lives to Converge - When it comes to friends, we so seamlessly introduce them to family, loved ones and other friends. They become integrated into our lives without a thought, as we do theirs. This happens faster than it would in a romantic build-up, so it's uncomfortable once they're gone.
Hi [Name of Person], I'm sorry to hear that you won't be able to make it tonight. I was really looking forward to getting together. I've got so much going on these days that it would've been helpful had you reached out sooner, but I understand these things happen.
Try reaching out to your friend to let them know you miss them. Ask if they want to talk, and tell them you're open to hearing anything that's on their mind — even if it's about you, Hunt says. It's important to really discern whether they've actually ghosted you, or have just been out of touch.
“It means the friend either does not have the energy, emotional readiness, time, or ability to confront the person they are ghosting,” psychotherapist Dr. Kimberly Schaffer told HelloGiggles. “They are choosing themselves over the person they ghosted.”
They may be ghosting you due to a misunderstanding or one of the other reasons already mentioned. But, if a friend ghosted you because they no longer wish to be friends for any reason, it can be hard to get over. It is similar to getting over a romantic break up, yet sometimes harder. We rely on our friends for a lot.
A toxic friend, far from helping relieve stress, can add to it. They might say or do things that upset you when you spend time together, for example. Even when you aren't with them, you might spend a lot of time thinking back to your negative interactions, which can make you feel tense, irritable, even downright awful.
Your gut can sense a toxic person and a toxic relationship. If you feel emotionally drained, abused, manipulated, devalued, deceived, like you are hard to love and respect or, like you need to lower your standards to be in a relationship with someone… You should consider cutting them off.
It is okay to cut someone out of your life. Sometimes, it is necessary. Although it isn't particularly easy, there comes a time in almost everyone's life where there's a person one needs distance from or that one needs to cut out of their life for good.
According to Walters, these could be some signs that the other person has low empathy: cutting you off emotionally. walking away and refusing to discuss your feelings, even after they've calmed down. shutting you down while you're speaking or cutting you off from speaking.
If you're feeling degraded or mistreated by your friend, you are in a negative relationship that can damage your self-esteem and mental health. If your friend speaks to you or calls you names with the intent to hurt your feelings, you are experiencing a bad friendship.