When a guy acts interested, then backs off, the reason has less likely to do with you and more to do with him. His past experiences could be coming in the way of your romantic dreams. Maybe, he has been abused, cheated on, or deeply hurt by a partner before, and thus, has his guards high up.
He may be unsure how to go about sharing his real feelings, or maybe he's afraid being more direct will come off too forward. He only wants a sexual relationship. He may have detected that you're interested in more than just hooking up, and he's trying to back away slowly.
Why do guys come on strong and then pull away? They might feel overwhelmed by the intensity of your feelings, or are afraid of commitment. They might even think that you two are no longer compatible or have started seeing someone else.
Do guys distance themselves when they like a girl or guy? Yes, if they are not convinced the person loves them as much as they love that person. Some men might like you but don't want to look desperate. They believe you might want to take them for granted.
So when you triggered deep feelings within him, it may have caused him to start acting distant to you. Acting distant is a form of defense mechanism designed to protect himself. Don't panic though. If this is the case with your man, then you just need to work on building trust and making him comfortable.
“Usually, it's used to create distance,” Feuerman says. “It's a way to say, 'I'm not totally sure I am into your or not. ' Or, 'I'm not sure if we want the same thing here.” Either way, mixed signals can be used to slow down the pace of the relationship without actually talking about it. (Cue eyeroll.)
Over time, men get really good at turning off their emotions or coping with their feelings in a way that is more acceptable for males. It creates a cycle of toxic masculinity, which can be hard to break once it's a habit.
When a guy acts interested, then backs off, the reason has less likely to do with you and more to do with him. His past experiences could be coming in the way of your romantic dreams. Maybe, he has been abused, cheated on, or deeply hurt by a partner before, and thus, has his guards high up.
If he's affectionate, pays attention to you, and puts effort into the relationship, you might be overthinking the situation. If he frequently cancels plans with no explanation or apology, ignores you, and doesn't initiate conversations, he might be losing interest.
Let him know that you understand that he isn't ready yet. Don't put pressure on him or try to make him fall in love with you. It's better if he comes up with his own decision. While he's taking his time, keep your cool and make sure to take care of yourself.
Men pull away due to multiple reasons ranging from fears, insecurities, or anxieties to desperation or loss of love. It is crucial for you to figure out the reason behind his pulling away to protect your relationship. And probably the best way to deal with it is to give him space. Let him figure out his emotions.
One of the most common reasons men blow hot and cold is that they're just not that into you. It's hurtful, but it happens. If he's not invested in the relationship, he may act inconsistently simply because he doesn't care enough to make the effort.
Ask him how he views your relationship. Tell him you're curious, and it would be helpful to know. The question you pose is a question that has a yes/no answer, which is not helpful. As an open-ended question, like the one I suggested, to give him room to talk and to explain.
One of the obvious reasons why a guy may ignore or act disinterested in you is because he feels you are too good for him. He lacks the confidence to approach you or is evasive about his feelings with you, fearing you might reject him. He feels that sharing his true feelings might ruin your friendship with him.
Something in his life has changed.
This can happen to your guy too. Maybe he's decided he wants to travel for a while. Maybe he has a new job opportunity that will either take him away or take up too much time. These life events happen and they don't always work with someone else in tow.
It is a universal belief that men process emotions differently than women. While women tend to recognize and understand how they are feeling rather quickly, it can take men hours and even days to realize how their feelings are affecting them.
Frequent complaints. Another behavior that is one of the turn-offs for men is frequent complaints. Men don't like it when someone complains too much. They prefer it if you use some of your initiative to solve some problems without complaining to them.
1 He acts hot and cold. 2 He texts you infrequently and sends short replies. 3 He doesn't follow up after a date.
There are several answers to why do guys disappear when they like you. It could be that he is scared of letting someone in, unsure of his feelings towards you, or doesn't think you are good enough for him. If you are in such a situation, you must prioritize yourself above everything else.