As narcissists are constantly trying to protect themselves from feelings of inadequacy or worthlessness, they may resort to various tactics like gaslighting, blame-shifting, or projecting their insecurities onto others to preserve their self-image. This behavior can be infuriating, distressing, and painful.
By deliberately hurting you a narcissist is able to obtain a tangible representation of their “greatness”. It makes them feel like they are better than you, which validates and reassures their grandiose sense of self, because they can see that you are in a weak and vulnerable position.
Narcissists and psychopaths are well-known for a tactic known as “baiting.” They deliberately provoke you so that you emotionally react and swallow their blameshifting hook, line, and sinker.
They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness. These emotions, however, don't often have roots in empathy.
Remain calm and unaffected.
Cut a conversation with a narcissistic co-worker short and excuse yourself to work on something else. Give your narcissistic partner absolutely no reaction when they try to push your buttons. Stay on topic if you're having a conversation with a manipulative, narcissistic parent.
They Feel a Loss of Control
If the narcissist feels like they are losing control of the situation, a rage fit allows them to regain power over those around them.
The most effective weapon to fend off a narcissist is self-love. Narcissists do not want to feel like you don't need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
Regret can occur if your action hurts someone else, or if it hurts you, including the potential to hurt you. For a narcissist, they can experience regret, but their regret is inward focused and is void of concern for how it could have affected someone else.
The reason youve found yourself the target of narcissistic hatred is that they view love as a weakness and consequently, it repulses them. But, at the same time, it allows them to extract copious amounts of narcissistic supply. This is why they seem to hate you but wont let you go easily.
It's a way for narcissists to avoid responsibility for their behavior and make their victims feel like they deserve everything bad that happens to them because of something they did wrong.
When the narcissist is low on narcissistic supply, they will then use your words against you to feel better about themselves. Their knowledge of the areas in which you have struggles allows them to better blame shift and make the problem about you when they feel targeted and backed into the wall.
Although narcissists act superior to others and posture as beyond reproach, underneath their grandiose exteriors lurk their deepest fears: That they are flawed, illegitimate, and ordinary.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
They are hostile and vindictive. They also have trouble understanding right from wrong, causing them to easily hurt others without feeling guilty. Narcissists with a malignant streak are also aggressive, manipulative, dishonest, abusive, and sadistic at times. They're easily angered and ready to take revenge.
Grooming a person, manipulating her into doubting her feelings, generating shame regarding her best qualities, and manipulatively creating dependency are four ways a narcissist destroys a person from the inside out.
At the center of a narcissist's destructive behavior towards others is an excessive sense of entitlement. Narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths believe that the world owes them something.
Focusing on your needs shows them what they're losing.
Many narcissists are users. They expect you to be there for them, but they have no intention of reciprocating. Start saying “no” to them, and focus on what you want instead. They'll get super frustrated and realize how great a partner you were for them.
Don't accommodate them. If they need you to do something for them, even if it's small or no trouble at all — don't do it. Try to refuse them with the least amount of fuss possible. Know that the more you do for the narcissist, the worse it will get.