Children who have older brothers become more aggressive over time, on average, than those who have older sisters. Older siblings with younger sisters become less aggressive.
Children who grow up with an older brother tend to become more aggressive as they move through adolescence, while those with a younger sister tend to become less so, according to a new study by researchers at UC Davis.
Children who learn from their parents to use aggressive, coercive behavior in family interactions are more likely to be antisocial and to use similar techniques in interactions with others outside of their households (Patterson, 1982; Patterson, Reid, & Dishion, 1992; Patterson & Stouthamer-Loeber, 1984).
The short answer is that anger can run in families, and genetics can indeed play a role—which might help to explain your angry inclinations. However, there's another significant factor that can lead to kids adopting angry tendencies from their relatives: learned behavior.
If you've ever thought, "I hate my sister," you're not alone. Occasional feelings of anger and hate can be present even in the closest of sibling relationships. It is also common for siblings to fight, which can lead to rivalry and hatred over time.
Abusive behaviour
Criticism, looking down on you, bullying, invalidating or gaslighting, and physical intimidation or abuse – all of it happens in toxic sibling relationships.
Sibling alienation occurs when one adult sibling wants to push aside another. While sibling alienation can occur at any point, one sibling may be especially tempted to alienate another in order to gain control of care-taking or inheritance outcomes with aging parents.
Anger reactivity increases over time and peaks at around 18-21 months of age10. This period in toddlerhood is commonly known as the “terrible twos.” Many anger issues start developing during this period when the small child starts to become mobile and exploratory11.
In 2010, scientists discovered the gene HTR2B, which may be responsible for impulsive and violent behavior in human beings when they are under the influence of alcohol. While more research is necessary, this could point to additional genetic causes for increased anger.
Although everyone experiences anger in response to frustrating or abusive situations, most anger is generally short-lived. No one is born with a chronic anger problem. Rather, chronic anger and aggressive response styles are learned. There are multiple ways that people learn an aggressive angry expression style.
Abstract. Frequent use of physical aggression by humans appears to reach its peak between 2 and 3 years of age. In the following years most children learn alternatives to physical aggression. Approximately 4% of children have high levels of physical aggression from early childhood to late adolescence.
They might even feel they don't have much in common with them (apart from the same genes). The most common areas of conflict between teenage siblings are equality and fairness, personal space, possessions and friends.
Authoritative parenting styles play a positive role in psychological behavior in children while authoritarian and permissive parenting styles result in aggressive and negative behaviors in children.
Researchers studying toddlers found that big sisters were far more likely than big brothers to spend time playing with and reading to their younger siblings. Kids who grow up with a big sister may be more successful in life, a new study suggests. Having a big brother, not so much.
Gaps of over five years are associated with pregnancy and birth problems (not just because you're likely to be an older mum) (Conde-Agudelo et al, 2006). With bigger gaps, your children may be into different things so not as close until they're much older.
Scientists estimate that 20 to 60 percent of temperament is determined by genetics. Temperament, however, does not have a clear pattern of inheritance and there are not specific genes that confer specific temperamental traits.
Parental anger may result in emotional or verbal abuse toward a child. If a parent says hurtful things to a child out of anger, the child may think it is their fault and develop feelings of worthlessness. Children may respond to angry parents with negative behavior, rudeness, or aggression.
While you can't cure anger, you can manage the intensity and effect it has upon you. Effective therapeutic strategies exist for managing anger and can help you become less reactive. You can even learn to develop more patience in the face of people and situations you cannot control.
Emotional regulation can be challenging for children with ADHD, and bouts of anger are common. In fact, it's estimated that anywhere between 40–65 percent of children diagnosed with ADHD also have a condition called Oppositional Defiant Disorder, or ODD, which includes anger as one of its symptoms.
Until your sister acknowledges the harm she's caused and the lack of emotional awareness she's mixing into your relationship, taking some space is absolutely fine. Cutting off a family member with these toxic traits is justified, but you might consider leaving the door open to reconciliation later on down the road.
Takeaway: It's not forever, but distance is healthy
But when you set boundaries and prioritize your own health, you'll be able to live a better life — with or without your sibling. “Walking away from a toxic relationship does not mean that you are completely shutting a door,” Fuller says.
Life changes like marriage and new additions to the family, having children, experiencing a death of a close loved one, moving, advancing in a career, or experiencing a major life setback can all lead to sibling conflicts, Horsley says.