The traditional wedding speech order goes father of the bride, groom, best man and other toasts. "In same-sex weddings, it is also common for both partners to speak but sometimes only one does," explains Marc. If you're having an LGBTQ+ wedding, you can decide on an order that works best for you.
1. The best man. You might think that being best man is all about planning a raucous bachelor party and not much else, but this job does have a few best man duties to prepare for, most important being the best man speech. And when it comes to the wedding speech order, the best man usually goes first.
Wedding Speech Opening Lines: Simple and Sincere Opening Lines. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and thank you (name) for the kind introduction." "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. As (name's friend/relative), I'm delighted to welcome you all here tonight."
Wedding receptions often have a Master of Ceremonies (MC) to keep the day running smoothly. This role is sometimes handed to the best man, or another close friend of the groom. The role of MC is simple. It requires you to make a few announcements loudly and clearly as the day progresses.
Who gives speeches at weddings and in what order? At a traditional wedding reception, the bride and groom speak first. This is followed by speeches from the father of the bride, the father of the groom, the maid of honor, and then the best man.
Who Gives a Wedding Toast? Tradition dictates that the best man is the master of ceremonies at a wedding reception and kicks off the toasts. This is a great point to keep in mind when selecting a best man—in addition to his ability to plan a stellar bachelor party, of course.
Give Speeches Once Entrées Are Served
This part of the meal is the longest, so it allows for a little more time for talking without interruptions from the waitstaff. Make sure your caterer serves your VIP tables first, so anyone giving a toast can enjoy their meal while it's hot.
While many experts will tell you to keep your talk to 3 minutes or less, Chertoff says the best wedding speeches usually last three to five minutes.
The short version of the traditional order of speeches
The toast to the bride and groom - given by the bride's father or a close family friend. The bridegroom's reply on behalf of his wife and himself. He then proposes a toast to the bridesmaids. The best man's speech on behalf of the bridesmaids.
Traditionally the wedding speeches are made after the main course and before dessert. However, these days it is becoming more common for couples to bring them forward to the beginning of the meal.
From a performer's perspective the best time for wedding speeches will be at the end of the meal. (Just as an aside, if you'd like to have your crowd properly warmed up before the speeches, check out my Wedding Emcee page. All the best performers use a warm-up man!)
We've seen brides give the newlywed speech, and we've seen best friends give speeches instead of the MOH or best man. If you're going the non-traditional route, we don't recommend an open-mic situation where anyone can speak, and we don't recommend having more than five speeches or guests will start to get restless.
It doesn't have to start the second you walk in the door, but it should happen toward the beginning of a party. For instance, at a dinner party, it's traditional to propose a toast as soon as the beverages have been served at the beginning of the meal, or just before dessert.
Do You Cut the Wedding Cake Before or After Toasts? Cutting the cake before the toast may seem like a good idea, but it could give guests the impression that the wedding is coming to an end. That's because cake cutting is usually the last major event of the day that happens.
Unless you're a professional actor, it's probably best not to trust the whole thing to memory – but reading out your speech can be really dull for guests to listen to. The best thing you can do is thoroughly familiarise yourself with your speech and then reduce it to a few notes on cue cards.
It's fine to ditch the speeches altogether if you and your bridal party are happy to sit them out, but it's still important to thank your guests for attending.
Traditionally, there's a father of the groom speech, as well. You'll want to keep your toast short and sweet, but be sure to tell your son how much you love them, address their new spouse, thank everyone for coming to the wedding, and offer some parting wisdom or advice for the newlyweds.
#2 Don't stand on ceremony
It also breaks the flow at the end of the speech, while you wait several seconds for all the guests to push back their chairs, find their glasses and get to their feet. Unless it's a real starch-shirted wedding, don't get everyone to stand; just raise a glass.
During the reception it is customary for the father of the bride to make a short speech, thanking the guests and those that have helped with the wedding planning, and talking a little about his daughter and new son-in-law. At the end of the speech the father of the bride usually proposes a toast to the happy couple.
Finally, I am often asked whether everyone should stand when a toast is given. Strictly speaking it is correct to do so. However, if there are many different toasts, the trick is not ask people to stand more than 3 times in quick succession.
Tradition or no tradition, the best man's speech tends to go last, following the speech of the bridesmaids and/or maid of honour.