People who are most susceptible to being victims of gaslighting more often exhibit characteristics of ADHD, anxiety or depression, said Sarkis. Gaslighting is present in about 30 to 40 percent of the couples she treats, where such disorders are more commonly represented.
You may be more vulnerable to gaslighting if you suffer from any mental health issues that weaken your resistance, such as a history of abuse or trauma, low self-esteem or depression, for example.
Gaslighting is the use of a patterned, repetitive set of manipulation tactics that makes someone question reality. It's often used by people with narcissistic personality disorder, abusive individuals, cult leaders, criminals, and dictators.
Adults with ADHD may be more vulnerable to gaslighting due to issues with self-esteem, difficulty with past relationships, and feelings of guilt and shame. Know that there is hope, and you can rebuild your life after living with gaslighting for months or even years.
In addition, perpetrators of gaslighting typically suffer from mental health issues as well. They may have developed these controlling behaviors as a response to childhood trauma, or as the result of Narcissistic Personality Disorder or another psychological condition.
The gaslighter enjoys emotionally, physically, and financially controlling their victims. The relationship may start well the manipulative person may praise his or her victim and establishes trust quickly by confiding in their victim immediately.
Highly sensitive people and empaths are more susceptible to gaslighting because they do not trust themselves and their intuitions. They doubt their own perspective even when they sense that something is wrong.
A recent review of findings on ADHD and FFM personality suggests that, in general, ADHD has associations with the FFM traits of Neuroticism (positive), Agreeableness (negative) and Conscientiousness (negative).
Studies using the Big 5 Personality Factors show that ADHD is strongly tied to both extraversion and to neuroticism.
There are four primary types of gaslighting behaviors: the straight-up lie, reality manipulation, scapegoating and coercion.
If the gaslighter is willing to be honest with themselves and do the hard work of changing how they interact it's possible to change this behavior. However, if they're unwilling to recognize the pattern then the pattern is unlikely to change.
They lack empathy for others, and their gaslighting can cause danger to their victims both mentally and emotionally. Commonly, a gaslighter has a condition known as a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). They have admiration for themselves over others and will do whatever it takes to put themselves in control.
Ultimately, the antidote to gaslighting is empathy. It is a skill that can be developed by anyone. It is never too late to cultivate empathy in the workplace, in romantic relationships and between family and friends.
Even though it might feel similar at the moment, unintentional (aka unconscious) gaslighting is not done intentionally or with the same ill intent as overt gaslighting. While some people are more likely to engage in this behavior, anyone can become an unintentional gaslighter.
Untreated ADHD in adults can lead to mental health disorders like anxiety and depression. This is because ADHD symptoms can lead to focus, concentration, and impulsivity problems. When these problems are not managed effectively, they can lead to feelings of frustration, irritability, and low self-esteem.
Research has indicated that individuals with high emotional reactivity (high neuroticism) and introverted tendencies (low extroversion) are more likely to experience anxiety than other personality types [101].
Gaslighting is a slow process that can take time to recognize and heal from, but treatment helps. Whether the victim recognizes it earlier or only gets help after a mental health crisis, the right treatment can bolster self-esteem, aid recovery from mental health symptoms, and restore normal function.
Critical Thinking. The opposite of gaslighting is critical thinking, not validation or deference or coddling.
Ignoring a gaslighter could mean you pretend you did not hear what they said and do not engage or respond to them. This could result in an escalation of their attempts at gaslighting you or make them angry if they feel you have bruised their pride. Similarly, they might try to get your attention in other ways.
If we stick to the clinical definition, gaslighters have two signature moves: They lie with the intent of creating a false reality, and they cut off their victims socially.
“A gaslighter will often make you beg for their forgiveness and apologize profusely for any 'wrong' you committed, even if it's something they did,” Stern says. Sometimes you may not even know what you're apologizing for, other than they're upset and it's your responsibility to calm them down.
Do gaslighters know they're gaslighting? Gaslighting lies on a spectrum. Some gaslighters don't know they're gaslighting and are largely unaware of how their behavior is affecting the other person. But some gaslighters are very well aware of what they are doing, and it is done with intention and without remorse.