In summary, the results presented support the hypothesis that overt narcissists are happy because they experience higher self-esteem whereas covert narcissists are unhappy because they experience lower self-esteem.
Not all people with narcissism are unhappy, but many can't find contentment when they aren't the center of attention. They may seem unhappy or insecure unless they get their way and receive praise. However, when they're not happy, they may do whatever they can to disrupt your happiness.
Is unable to manage or “hold” his unhappy feelings. Privately feels overwhelmed, mildly panicked, or “out of gas” but can't express that vulnerability for fear of being “kicked when down” Gets stuck “living in” his feelings instead of feeling them and then getting over them.
And vulnerable narcissists, who freely admit to feeling bad about themselves, are not exaggerating; they really do feel bad about themselves. In general, then, narcissists seem to be pretty honest when they tell you how they're feeling.
Generally speaking, however, narcissists do not have healthy relationships. They can be very demanding and controlling, which leads to a lot of conflict and unhappiness in the marriage. Studies show that narcissists are more likely to get divorced than people who do not have a narcissistic personality disorder.
The narcissist, then, is dependent on the other. He needs the other's submission to keep feeling powerful over and over. In a sense – despite how self-assured and independent he may seem – the narcissist cannot exist alone. He needs a victim to feel like he exists.
“They need a lot of praise, and if you're not giving it to them, they'll fish for it,” she says. That's why they're constantly looking at you to tell them how great they are. “Narcissists use other people — people who are typically highly empathic — to supply their sense of self-worth and make them feel powerful.
They feel that they've been criticized, even if the critique is constructive or said kindly. They're not the center of attention. They're caught breaking rules or not respecting boundaries. They're held accountable for their actions.
Narcissists might have "grandiose" delusions about their own importance and an absence of "shame" - but psychologists say they are also likely to be happier than most people.
Narcissistic collapse happens when a person with narcissistic personality disorder experiences a failure, humiliation, or other blow to their secretly fragile self-esteem. Depending on the type of narcissist, collapse may look different and happen more frequently.
Unless they have had a lot of successful psychotherapy for their NPD, they do not feel guilt, shame, or self-doubt so long as their narcissistic defenses hold. This means that they do not think there is anything for them to regret, no matter how hurt you feel.
Given their arrogance, condescension, and lack of empathy, narcissists are notoriously difficult clients. The key to working with them is being direct and transparent about the roiling emotions they trigger in us.
Hence, it is clear that a narcissist rebound relationship may last only a few months. Some break up after a short fling of two to three weeks, while others end the relationship after the sweet initial phase ends in just a few months.
The narcissistic personality is unstable in each and every one of its dimensions. It is the ultimate hybrid: rigidly amorphous, devoutly flexible, reliant for its sustenance on the opinion of people, whom the narcissist undervalues.
Deep-Seated Fear of Rejection / Being Unimportant – This is the core of narcissistic rage. Many narcissists are constantly hounded by the insecurity that people may not see them as the privileged, powerful, popular, or “special” individuals they make themselves to be, and react intensely when their fears are confirmed.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
Narcissists can feel emotional pain, but not usually in the same way as others. The emotional pain they may feel is usually related to underlying selfish needs. Underneath the displays of superiority and sense of entitlement, they often feel empty, powerless, and shameful, which they perceive as weakness.
When you don't depend on anyone to make money and you use your abundance to take care of yourself and not predators, you will always have the ability to control your own future. This is power, and pathologically envious narcissists are often turned off by it because it means they cannot easily control a victim.
Here are some narcissism red flags to look out for: Lacking empathy. They seem unable or unwilling to have empathy for others, and they appear to have no desire for emotional intimacy. Unrealistic sense of entitlement.
Narcissists may show you love and act in loving ways, but this tends to be conditional, in that displays of love depend on what you can give them in return. For people with NPD, relationships tend to be transactional. Love is not self-serving, proud, boastful, exploitative, or envious.
The narcissist will never be happy.
“They simply don't feel good about themselves.” Despite incalculable self-importance, the narcissist doesn't have high self-esteem. They coat themselves in praise and approval from others to hide their biggest fear.