Narcissism and resentment go together. The usual explanation is that narcissists are resentful because the world doesn't recognize their brilliance or meet their demands for special privleges.
The reason youve found yourself the target of narcissistic hatred is that they view love as a weakness and consequently, it repulses them. But, at the same time, it allows them to extract copious amounts of narcissistic supply. This is why they seem to hate you but wont let you go easily.
A 'vindictive narcissist' is an unofficial term used to describe narcissists who hold grudges, harbor resentment, and seek revenge when they feel wronged. Vindictiveness is understood to be a hostile defense mechanism a narcissist uses when they feel threatened, insecure, or offended by someone.
Because narcissists have very low self-esteem, they become incredibly defensive and frustrated when their shortcomings are pointed out. Thus, the distress associated with their false self being exposed can result in narcissistic rage.
The most effective weapon to fend off narcissists is self-love. When you love yourself, it is more difficult for the narcissist to manipulate you and get under your skin. It will hurt them to know that you do not need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
For the person on the receiving end, someone experiencing a narcissistic collapse may look out of control, extremely angry, and vindictive. In some cases, it may look like someone withdrawing altogether and giving them the silent treatment.
They're often introverted, sensitive, and prone to experiencing anxiety and shame. They may also struggle to maintain close friendships as they focus heavily on themselves, require attention, and are hyper-sensitive to perceived criticism.
They want to see how much they can destroy you
Narcissists thrive on chaos, so they do not act out of jealousy, as that would imply they want your relationships, career, wealth, or health for themselves. Rather, they just don't want to see other people happy.
People high in narcissism can act in ways that others perceive as rude due not only to their self-entitlement and grandiosity, but also to their inability to see things from someone else's point of view.
Overly critical remarks about our appearance, our talents, our achievements, our lifestyles, our choices are all fair game in a narcissist's mind. Shaming us for existing as an independent human being with our own lives, preferences, opinions, and worldviews is the way narcissists program us to self-destruct.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
As a narcissistic abuse survivor, you will likely have symptoms of post-traumatic stress. Your brain will be on high alert, looking out for danger. This is because the traumatic events triggered a fight or flight response within you. As a result, anything associated with those memories can trigger an anxiety attack.
Narcissists lack a positive, emotional connection to themselves, making it difficult for them to emotionally connect with others. Their undeveloped self and deficient inner resources require them to be dependent on others for validation. Rather than confidence, they actually fear that they're undesirable.
Your tears also put the spotlight on you, which is unacceptable for a narcissist. Another reason your tears may anger the narcissist is the fact that they may feel controlled by your tears. After all, they often use their own tears to manipulate and control others.
While an outward show of superiority is a definite part of the narcissistic personality, a sense of superiority (or pursuit of it) is not the central factor of the disorder. The root of the disorder is actually a strict resistance to feeling vulnerable with anyone at any time.
During a narcissistic collapse, the narcissistic defenses that keep them confident are no longer working. In a narcissistic collapse, they feel extremely anxious, depressed, ashamed, and may be unable to keep functioning.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others.
In the manic phase, he is restless (often insomniac), full of pent up energy, explosive, dramatic, creative, an excellent performer and manager. Suddenly, and often for no apparent reason, he becomes subdued, depressed, devoid of energy, pessimistic, and "zombie-like".
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
The best way to shut down a narcissist is to walk away from them. If all else fails, you can physically remove yourself from the conversation. Even if they keep talking, simply turn around and walk away. If they follow you, close the door.
Narcissists are frightened, fragile people.
Rejection, humiliation, and even the tiniest of defeats can shake them to their core.