If you like you can ask your funeral director for their advice. Often families choose not to take babies and children under the age of about 3, as they are concerned that they might be noisy. Children old enough to know what is happening should generally be given the choice to attend and their decision respected.
There is no rule or law about when your baby's funeral must happen, but normally it will happen within 2 to 3 weeks of your baby's death. Take your time and think about what you would like to do. It may help to talk to the people closest to you.
The key to funeral attire for newborns and infants is to choose something comfortable. Uncomfortable clothing could lead to fussiness or excessive wiggling, which could interrupt the service or cause other challenges. Comfort is key. However, skip any brightly colored onesies or clothing that could be too distracting.
You can dress your baby up in any dress but preferably not flashy. As a baby, no matter what you put her in, she would appear bright and happy, this factor cannot be subdued, and it's a reason why babies' wear to a funeral isn't criticised.
When a baby is born under 24 weeks gestation and shows no signs of life, there is no legal re- quirement to have a funeral.
Arranging burial or cremation via a funeral director
Some families decide that they want to honour their baby's memory by arranging a burial or cremation. It is possible to have a funeral for a baby born at any stage of pregnancy.
When a baby dies before 24 weeks of pregnancy, there is no legal requirement to have a burial or cremation. Even so, most hospitals have sensitive disposal policies and your baby may be cremated or buried, perhaps along with the remains of other miscarried babies.
A common question is, “Does my child need to wear black funeral attire?” The answer is “No.” While children wearing black to a funeral used to be common practice in some areas of the world, in most Western countries it's no longer considered necessary and is not expected.
I would suggest something like a wrap dress. I find these easy when breastfeeding because you can just loosen the top slightly to feed and can also tie it as lose or as tight as you want it around your waist.
Children should also dress smart to a funeral; dark and subdued colours are often preferred. Traditionally, boys should wear a smart shirt and tie with trousers and shoes, whilst girls typically wear smart dresses.
Wearing dark grey or deep blue is just as appropriate as black, while brown and lighter greys are suitable for the vast majority of funeral services. However, unless specifically requested by the deceased or their family, you should avoid any bright colors such as yellows, oranges, pinks, and reds.
Baby burial gowns are worn by infants or young babies who passed away before, during or after birth. They are usually white, and very similar to Baptismal or Christening dresses. They are made for both boys and girls and come in a variety of sizes, styles, and patterns.
Avoid bright colors.
You should never wear bright colors to a funeral. Primary colors like blues, reds, and yellows may come off as offensive or disrespectful. Red, in some cultures, is seen as a sign of celebration.
Some states may allow burial of a baby on private property, but others do not - be sure to check with local burial officials if you want to bury a baby in your yard. If you belong to a church, you can ask your pastor or priest to conduct a burial ceremony for the baby.
A pregnant woman should avoid attending the funeral if it will make her too emotional or if it can cause stress or depression. In general, the funeral is considered hard on pregnant women. The real thing that can cause problems or damages is grief, stress or depression, not the funeral.
In the early 19th century right up until the 1960's, 197o's and even the 1980's a baby that was stillborn or died shortly after birth was usually buried in a communal grave with other babies or in a grave with a female adult.
Avoid dressing in casual clothing, such as athletic wear, tank tops, or shorts. Skip the flip-flops, tennis shoes, sneakers, or boat shoes. Remove the neon necktie, purse, or accessory. Shy away from wearing jeans, even black ones, because they are considered too casual for a funeral.
What do women wear to a funeral? A skirt or dress – these should be knee-length and not flashy or revealing, normally with tights. A pair of smart trousers – jeans and other casual trousers are not appropriate for a funeral. A pair of smart full-length or ankle grazer trousers in a dark colour can be a good option.
Don't: wear too much makeup.
If you wear makeup, you'll want to keep things minimal for a funeral. Stick to light, natural colors and a nude lipstick. Avoid anything featuring bright colors, glitter, or unnatural hues.
Grey, navy and brown are all formal, non-black colours. Muted floral patterns can also be a good choice for women, such as a floral dress or blouse.
Dresses, skirt-suits, pantsuits, and skirts or pants paired with nice blouses or tops are appropriate for most funeral services. Sleeveless dresses can work, particularly in warmer climates, although you may want to pair them with a wrap, sweater, or tailored blazer.
You Don't Have To Wear Black
However, colors like dark grey, dark blue, darker green, white, and beige can be appropriate. If you don't own any black clothing, you may always opt for a subtle hue that is appropriate for formal settings. In addition, stay away from anything with distracting patterns or prints.
Some parents decide to take their baby home with them. Legally you can do this, unless a coroner or procurator fiscal has ordered a post-mortem. Ask your midwife for information about taking your baby home. You will need to fill in a form and find out how best to keep your baby cool at home.
If your baby dies after 24 weeks of pregnancy, their body must be buried or cremated. It is your decision whether or not to hold a service before the burial or cremation. These are the usual options for the funeral: The hospital can arrange the funeral for you, usually free of charge or for a small fee.
"In cases where bereaved parents desire the cremation of an infant or of fetal remains, they should be warned that there are occasions when no tangible remains are left after the cremation process has been completed. This is due to the cartilaginous nature of the bone structure.