Causes of the Cheater's High Cheating leads to a greater sense of autonomy. Circumventing rules that limit others gives cheaters an increased sense of control over their own lives, making them feel better about themselves.
“A lot of it has to do with the cleverness that people feel,” says the study's lead author Nicole Ruedy, a postdoc at the University of Washington, “The idea that they've figured out a way to cheat successfully gives them a sense of accomplishment.”
There are a number of reasons why people get the urge to cheat, from the simple fact of convenience, to more serious issues with intimacy, sex addiction, or personality problems that should be worked through with a mental health professional.
Infidelity is associated with: previous cheating; relationship boredom, dissatisfaction, and duration; expectations of imminent break-ups; and low-frequency, poor-quality partner sex. Among men, risk also increases when partners are pregnant or there are infants in the house.
According to psychologist and relationship researcher Scott Haltzmann, infidelity is a “flame addiction.” A person having an affair craves the other person, wanting to experience the same addictive behavior repeatedly. This is due to a series of complex neurological, chemical, and hormonal changes.
Sometimes compulsive behavior stems from mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and OCD. Research shows that antidepressants may help reduce some of the obsessions and compulsions associated with cheating behavior. Keep in mind that medications alone rarely change behavior.
It may seem counterintuitive that someone addicted to love would cheat on a partner, but it happens more than you might think. Love addiction and cheating too often go together.
People who cheat are likely impulsive and destructive at decision making. Instead of thinking about you and what happens to the relationship after cheating, they go based on what they want right now. Impulsiveness can be seen in other areas of the relationship, too. So keep an eye out.
In this new study, 45 percent of individuals who reported cheating on their partner in the first relationship reported also doing so in the second. Among those who had not cheated in the first, far fewer (18 percent) cheated in the second.
Sometimes cheaters are reenacting or latently responding to unresolved childhood traumas—neglect, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, etc. Basically, their childhood wounds have created attachment deficits that manifest through infidelity.
Infidelity does not mean that the love is gone or never existed. The reality is that you can love someone and still cheat on them. In fact, many affairs happen in relationships that are otherwise very happy.
Sometimes, people cheat because they don't know how to break up and infidelity gives them a good excuse. You may be tempted to sabotage your relationship because you're subconsciously scared of commitment, says Lozano.
Sometimes people cheat because of deep-seeded thrill seeking behavior. Knowing that something is wrong or taboo is exciting to some people, and can lead them to infidelity even if they are in a happy relationship.
First, the “gains” of infidelity involve having more (and perhaps more exciting) sex—and sexual activity, and orgasm in particular, are among the most pleasurable (dopaminergic) experiences humans can have without ingesting stimulant drugs like methamphetamine or cocaine.
The duper's delight is an emotional boost, or thrill, that some people get when they successfully cheat or deceive another person or organization. The rush they enjoy can lead them to repeat their dishonesty, even when there's no reward other than the high itself.
According to the General Social Survey, men are more likely to cheat than women, with 20% of men and 13% of women reporting having sex with someone other than their partner while still married.
Most definitely. While some cheaters take pride in how many people they've been without outside of their marriage, most unfaithful partners feel guilt and stress over breaking their marriage vows.
Although many people believe in the adage, “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” it is not necessarily true. Not every person who cheats once will cheat again. However, serial cheaters are people who seek out sexual partners on a continual, chronic pattern of infidelity.
Here's what we do know about the prevalence of cheating. A 2021 survey by Health Testing Centers polled 441 people and reported: a little over 46% of respondents in a monogamous relationship said they had affairs. nearly 24% of marriages affected by infidelity reported staying together.
The cheating partner might also justify their actions by pointing out their partner's issues, such as being controlling, having a drug and alcohol problem, or being inattentive. Some might say their partner has been too busy with work or the kids and that they no longer felt prioritized.
Being insecure
Another reason why someone might cheat is because they are insecure. "Usually, in this scenario, the partner that wants to cheat is seeking out confirmation of their desirability," Winter told INSIDER. "And they use the reinforcement of a new person to bolster their own self-confidence."
Cheating husbands may be defensive over the smallest things. They may seem unusually sensitive or touchy about things that seem harmless to you. If you ask an innocent question about what they had for lunch, they may snap at you and accuse you of being controlling or demanding.
Typical signs of love addiction include: Mistaking intense sexual experiences and new romantic excitement for love. Constantly craving and searching for a romantic relationship. When in a relationship, being desperate to please and fearful of the other's unhappiness.
For example, a partner lacking self-esteem may lean on their partner to give them that. Additionally, people may develop love addiction as a way to fill a void left over from childhood trauma, low self-worth, or a lack of self-love. Like other types of addictions, it can stem from abandonment fears.