Cyclical Nature of BPD Abandonment The fear of being abandoned often causes people with BPD to form unhealthy attachments. Sometimes, they may abruptly cut off these relationships, effectively abandoning their partners. Other times, they make frantic attempts to hold onto relationships.
Borderline personality disorder is characterized by a pervasive pattern of instability in relationships, self-image, moods, and behavior and hypersensitivity to possible rejection and abandonment. People with borderline personality disorder fear rejection and abandonment, partly because they do not want to be alone.
When people with this disorder feel that they are about to be abandoned, they typically become fearful and angry. For example, they may become panicky or furious when someone important to them is a few minutes late or cancels an engagement.
People with BPD often have difficulty regulating their emotions, which can lead to impulsive and unpredictable behavior. If your partner is pushing you away, try to stay calm and focused. Remind yourself that this is not about you, and that your partner is likely experiencing a great deal of pain.
Someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) may start giving you the silent treatment. Manipulation, difficulty controlling and regulating emotions, and the consequences of fear of abandonment are the most common causes of this behavior.
While there are no specific causes that would result in quiet BPD vs. typical BPD, it's likely that one's personality or temperament influences how the disorder manifests in terms of outward symptoms or inward symptoms.
Many people feel that their loved ones or relatives with symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) don't care how they feel because it is often not present in their behavior. This is because one frequent feature of those who experience symptoms of BPD is very weak empathy.
However, if the favorite person does something that the individual perceives as abandonment or rejection, they may feel overwhelmed by negative emotions, such as anger, sadness, or anxiety. These emotions can be all-consuming, leading to suicidal ideation, self-harm, or impulsive behavior.
It's about lacking the ability to put feelings and emotions into the appropriate “boxes”, and this can lead to self-destructive and impulsive behavior caused through the inability to recognize boundaries.
People with depression as part of BPD can have periods of hopelessness and extremely low motivation, which can make them want to drop out of therapy as well. In both of these cases, a therapist can help you think through what is in your best interest versus what your disorder is “telling you” to do.
People with BPD feel firmly attached to their favorite person and may depend on them for comfort, reassurance, and guidance. In many cases, someone with BPD may rely entirely on their favorite person. As a result, they may idealize them and expect them to always be available.
They understand your pain
Someone with BPD understands the feelings of hurt, loneliness, and emotional pain better than most. Contrary to a common misconception, most people with BPD do not lack empathy. In fact, the opposite is true, where they have 'too much' empathy.
Many people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) will report that they spend a lot of time and energy suppressing emotions. If you have ever had an intense thought or feeling that you couldn't handle in the moment and tried to push away, you have experienced emotional suppression.
Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem. People who take their power from being a victim, or seek excitement in others because their own life is not where they want it to be.
Passionate and emotional – When a person with BPD loves, the love is deep, highly committed and loyal to the relationship. Even though there may be struggles with attachment and fears of abandonment, these are ultimately manifestations of love.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
People with BPD may experience rage when they perceive rejection, neglect, or abandonment in a relationship. During rage, a person may say or do things that they later regret. This could lead to ending the relationship in the heat of the moment. BPD rage is often followed by significant regret and shame.
Borderlines will usually end relationships as a form of seeking validation from their partner. The general pattern of BPD behaviour after a break-up sees them waiting for their partner to reach out to them to have their emotional needs met.
A 'classical' borderline presentation is associated with manipulative and unempathetic traits – pretty nasty stuff, which is unusual as very few people we know who are diagnosed with BPD actually fit this clinical picture.
Quiet BPD is an internalizing disorder, while BPD is typically an externalizing disorder. Someone with Quiet BPD 'implodes' rather than 'explodes'. You put yourself down when bad things happen, and when you feel rage, you hurt yourself rather than lash out at others.
For many folks with BPD, a “meltdown” will manifest as rage. For some, it might look like swinging from one intense emotion to another. For others, it might mean an instant drop into suicidal ideation. Whatever your experience is, you're not alone.
People with BPD may not have a consistent self-image or sense of self. This may worsen obsessive tendencies, since they may find it difficult to see themselves as real or worthy individually, separate from their relationships.