The uncomfortable feeling that you associate with needing to say something (even if you're afraid to say it) is called cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is the psychological term for the mental distress that arises when you're trying to balance two conflicting thoughts, feelings, or values.
Social anxiety itself often causes a fear of talking. Anxiety may also distract the mind, making it harder to put words together. Tangentially related anxiety fears, such as fear of being judged, often cause fear of talking.
We feel guilty for no longer making it our vocation to meet the needs, wishes, and expectations of someone else while sacrificing our own. There's this sense of betrayal about not doing for others what we needed to do for ourselves first before giving away something that we didn't have to give.
Speak up to protect yourself and others, speak up not to regret remaining silent. Speak your mind instead of suppressing your emotions. Speak up because others may not know what you know, so use it as a possibility to educate yourself and broaden your horizons.
With all of the constant noise you hear on a day-to-day basis, embracing silence can help stimulate your brain and help you process information. It can also help you become more self-aware and relieve stress. Embracing silence may also help you settle into the present moment and quiet any racing thoughts.
However, when we don't speak up for ourselves, we erode our sense of self-worth. We become engaged in a cycle of rationalizing behavior that takes us further away from our values and — ultimately — away from the person that we want to become.
One reason you may be crying is because you feel overwhelmed by anxiety. You might be anticipating and dreading that it's going to happen. It's hard to get away from that, even if you want to stand up for yourself—but battling against it might be making it worse.
Understand that silence is often interpreted as acceptance.
You may withhold because you don't want to start an argument, but your lack of opinions will likely be seen as approval of what was said. Get the courage to speak up by asking yourself if you would want someone to allow what is being said to be said about you.
Public speaking anxiety is a type of social anxiety disorder that's triggered by the fear of speaking in front of others. Also known as glossophobia, public speaking anxiety can cause physical symptoms such as an elevated heart rate, shortness of breath, and even panic attacks.
A Common Fear
Surveys typically indicate that between 72-75% of the population fears public speaking.
Glossophobia, or a fear of public speaking, is a very common phobia and one that is believed to affect up to 75% of the population. Some individuals may feel a slight nervousness at the very thought of public speaking, while others experience full-on panic and fear.
Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder where a person is unable to speak in certain social situations, such as with classmates at school or to relatives they do not see very often. It usually starts during childhood and, if left untreated, can persist into adulthood.
Guilt, Fishkin says, is associated with activity in the prefrontal cortex, the logical-thinking part of the brain. Guilt can also trigger activity in the limbic system. (That's why it can feel so anxiety-provoking.)
Toxic guilt is when we feel guilt without actually having done anything wrong. For example, this could be the guilt felt when you decided to pursue a career in welding when your parents thought you should be a lawyer… like them.
Two key areas of the brain are activated by shame: the prefrontal cortex and the posterior insula. The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain associated with moral reasoning. This is where judgements about the self occur. The posterior insula is the part of the brain that engages visceral sensations in the body.
Crying is essentially a release valve that rids your body of excess stress and tension, so when a sob-fest is on the horizon and you hold it in, your body's sympathetic nervous system (or fight-or-flight response) kicks into gear, says Nicole Van Groningen, M.D., an internist at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.
Crying easily can be a symptom of depression, anxiety, or a lot of stress in your life. Since HSPs feel so deeply and can experience sensory overload, we're more susceptible to strong feelings of depression or anxiety. We might feel alone in our sensitivity or isolate ourselves to reduce excess stimuli.
Feeling defensive "is a natural self-protection mechanism that we have inside us", says Dr Kate Renshall, a clinical psychologist based in Sydney. "I think we all get defensive when somebody pushes on something that feels too close to home, or touches on something we already might doubt about ourselves."
Silence is deemed approval.
If you disapprove and don't say anything it will not make you seem easy going. If the problem persists and you did nothing people may consider it as enabling and think the issue is as much your fault as the person who actually caused the problem. You may destroy trust and create resentment.
Some people who we assume do not talk much, could be struggling to express themselves even if they want to talk. Sometimes, people don't know how to put it across and have the fear of being misinterpreted or misunderstood. So, they decide to keep quiet.
Should You Be Worried If You Don't Talk Every Day? Again, this totally depends on whether you and your partner are both satisfied with how often you're currently in communication. If you check in once a day and it's not distracting either of you from work or school, then that's great.