There are a number of reasons why people get the urge to cheat, from the simple fact of convenience, to more serious issues with intimacy, sex addiction, or personality problems that should be worked through with a mental health professional.
Why Do I Feel Tempted to Cheat? Maybe you feel your partner isn't fulfilling your emotional or physical needs, or personal insecurities are driving you to seek validation elsewhere. Sometimes, as unfair as it may seem, you might just feel bored.
Inherent Selfishness/Entitlement. Some cheaters, despite loving their partner and enjoying their relationship, feel they deserve more. Rather than seeing their vow of fidelity as a sacrifice made to and for their relationship, they view it as something to be worked around.
According to Dr. Fisher, if you or your partner continually feel the urge to cheat, then it's important to discuss these feelings with your partner. "[They should] discuss how their needs aren't feeling met in the relationship and how it's increasing their urges elsewhere," he says.
Infidelity does not mean that the love is gone or never existed. The reality is that you can love someone and still cheat on them. In fact, many affairs happen in relationships that are otherwise very happy.
Wanting attention is also a common reason we look outside our relationship. Maybe your spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, or partner works too much, plays too much, or has what seems to be an endless amount of priorities that come before you. In these cases, looking elsewhere may be very tempting.
"It's important we recognize there are plenty of people in perfectly happy relationships who also cheat."
Although many people believe in the adage, “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” it is not necessarily true. Not every person who cheats once will cheat again. However, serial cheaters are people who seek out sexual partners on a continual, chronic pattern of infidelity.
Examples of micro-cheating behavior
Sharing intimate or personal details with someone outside of the relationship that should be reserved for a partner. Going out of one's way to spend time with someone who is not a partner, particularly if there is a romantic or sexual attraction present.
Why do people cheat? A wide variety of factors can bring out some type of affair. A study of 495 people revealed eight key reasons: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and circumstance.
They are enjoying themselves
A person who cheats may be enjoying the affair they are having so much that they have no negative feelings about what they are up to. This is why a cheating person shows no remorse that may not be obvious.
The reality of the situation: Significant emotional trauma creates triggers. For the betrayed spouse this means the devastation of the infidelity. Betraying spouses have triggers as well. Often they experience overwhelm when they come face to face with the shame and guilt of their actions.
You're not alone if you've wondered, "why do I want to cheat?" A recent study in Social Science Research found that 13 percent of women and 10 percent of men have cheated on their current partners, and many more have probably thought about it. Having these thoughts doesn't always mean you want to end your relationship.
A person who has difficulty controlling impulses might act without thinking. If the opportunity presents itself, a person with poor self-control might cheat. Selfishness. Someone who puts his or her needs and wants before their partner's may not care that there could be negative consequences for their actions.
Temptation and attraction are completely normal and, to a certain extent, inevitable.
Since cheating means different things to different people, it may not come as a surprise if someone says kissing does not count as cheating. In fact, according to a survey conducted by BBC Radio 5 Live, 73 per cent of women consider kissing as cheating but only 50 per cent men count it as an act of betrayal.
Cheating can destroy a marriage, shatter your ability to trust future partners, hurt your kids, and even lead to depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The vast majority of adults agree that it's wrong, but anywhere from 39 to 52% of us may experience infidelity at some point in our lives.
The bottom line is pretty clear and should be to you too: Cheating is never worth it. You know, so you don't destroy your relationship, ruin your reputation, or become a version of yourself you're really not fond of.
It is possible to love two people at once and feel the same amount of love for both people. This is a common occurrence for people who are polyamorous, or who have relationships with multiple people at once.
Yes, it is possible for someone to fall in love with an affair partner, although it can be a complicated and emotionally fraught experience. These relationships have trust issues due to how they began. In order to make the relationships work, the couple needs to work diligently at trust.