"If you are feeling uncertainty about a relationship, it's important that you address the reasons for those feelings," he tells Bustle. "Usually, it's your gut telling you that there are unresolved problems." By taking a closer look, you may uncover the reasons why you don't feel totally sure about your relationship.
Every couple experiences doubt. It is natural, it is unavoidable, it can cycle back more than a few times throughout the course of a healthy relationship, and it's something you can work through. “Doubt is the other side of certainty,” says Dr. Linda Carroll, a relationship therapist.
Doubt often comes, for example, when a new level of a relationship presents itself, such as talk of moving in or of marriage. So some doubts are really just a stress response. They can be our brain's way of working through and preparing for the new challenges ahead.
"Doubt in relationships, particularly after being with your partner for a long period of time, is a common feeling we all may undergo at some point. It's normal to have fear or uncertainty about the person you are with." It's part of the human condition.
Most people feel a little insecure about their relationship at some point, especially in the early stages of dating and forming a commitment. This isn't unusual, so you generally don't need to feel concerned about passing doubts or fears, especially if they don't affect you too much.
Sometimes, couples are unhappy because they feel bored in a relationship, or because both partners have lost the physical spark they used to have. At other times, there may be extreme jealousy present in the relationship, or perhaps a severe case of emotional manipulation.
In some cases, your sudden loss of interest in your partner could be the result of your discovering you both have different values or goals. When you feel this way, you may want to talk to your partner about it and think about whether or not you still want to stay in a relationship with them.
Is It Normal to Lose Romantic Feelings? It's totally normal to have times where you feel more or less in love with your partner. At the same time, it's painful to have stillnesses in a relationship that leave you feeling lost or doubting its future.
Common Signs You May Be Feeling Unhappy In Your Relationship
You look for excuses not to see your partner. You feel the urge to be with someone else. You think you would be more comfortable living a different life. You are not attracted to your partner anymore.
If you're in love with your partner, then you'll never feel limited or held back from trying new things. However, if you're merely comfortable, then chances are you'll settle for routine over new opportunities.
After you've been together a while, these feelings usually start to subside as you become more comfortable. That said, there are times when someone might still feel overly anxious in a relationship, so much so that it starts to put any positive aspects on the back burner.
When in doubt, the best thing to do is talk it out. In every relationship, it's natural to question your feelings, but with enough open communication, you'll never need to doubt what your boo is thinking.
You're not getting your needs met
When the lines of communication break down, you may start to feel a sense of longing, unease, and even bitterness. Something's off if you're constantly craving affection that isn't provided, or if you find yourself daydreaming of a more fulfilling relationship.
If it's the kind of cold feet where you have some anxiety about getting married or you're feeling nervous about making a long-term commitment to someone, then that's completely normal.
Doubting is a classic symptom of anxiety and it can quickly put a strain on your relationship, says Sommerfeldt. Doubt may lead to your checking up on your partner more than you have normally would have, snooping through their things, and distrusting them even when they haven't given you a reason to do so.
What causes disconnection in relationships? A few different things may cause a disconnect in a relationship. You could have been growing apart for some time, don't have the time to spend with each other like you used to or one or both of you might have stopped putting in the effort you used to.
"A relationship that is chronically not going anywhere is often the result of several things including lack of shared values, inability to agree on how much real love and emotional connection is desirable, or one or both no longer believing (if they ever did) that their relationship is worth pursuing," Dr. Brown says.
Lack of trust may lead to feeling distant from your partner, especially if you previously had trust for them and lost confidence in them. Losing trust could come from not abiding by agreed rules for the relationship, such as infidelity, or it could be that your partner has suddenly been less open than you.
Is it possible to stay in love for the long-haul or fall back in love after falling out of it? You may be surprised that the overwhelming answer for many in the scientific community is YES. Real, lasting love is possible.
Relationships evolve, and so do the feelings of love you have for your partner as you both grow and change. People usually fall out of love if one partner isn't willing to grow along with the other partner, relationship therapist Matt Lundquist told Insider.
Love may disappear slowly over time or suddenly after a traumatic event. Partners may confuse infatuation for love, so they assume the romance is done as soon as things begin to cool. The truth is, people fall out of love for any number of reasons.