What causes people to become toxic? We're fundamentally copycats—we learn behaviors by modeling others, and sometimes we have the wrong role models. At other times, we run into a bad spate in life, get jaded, and see the world through a pessimistic lens. And so our toxic behaviors grow.
A toxic person is anyone whose behavior adds negativity and upset to your life. Many times, people who are toxic are dealing with their own stresses and traumas. To do this, they act in ways that don't present them in the best light and usually upset others along the way.
But many people with toxic traits don't realize that their behavior impacts others. You may have toxic traits that you don't know about. Some toxic traits, like absolutism, manifest subtly. You may not realize you see things as good or bad unless you experience something that forces you to reflect on your mindset.
Many people who behave in a toxic manner have been through trauma themselves, and instead of dealing with that trauma, these people start exhibiting toxic traits. These people usually don't know how to process trauma and stress in a healthy manner, so they end up being unpleasant around people.
If a relationship stops bringing joy, and instead consistently makes you feel sad, angry, anxious or “resigned, like you've sold out,” it may be toxic, Glass says. You may also find yourself envious of happy couples. Fuller says negative shifts in your mental health, personality or self-esteem are all red flags, too.
Fundamentally, toxic relationship behaviors are the result of a lack of empathy. Whether that be demanding your partner live up to your expectations, or refusing to see things from their perspective, toxic behavior often represents an inability to feel genuine understanding and compassion for the other person.
If you've addressed toxic behavior with the person exhibiting it and they have taken it to heart, it's possible for toxic people to change. “Toxic people can absolutely change,” Kennedy says, “however they must see their part in the problem before they are likely to find the motivation to do so.”
Overthinking strikes all of us at some point, but if it goes unchecked and unresolved, overthinking can certainly morph healthy relationships into toxic relationships. If you fall victim to your thoughts and allow them to go too far, they can end up driving a wedge of distrust between you and other people in your life.
Toxic traits may also manifest in more subtle ways, such as passive-aggressive behavior or manipulation. Toxic people may attempt to control conversations by steering things in a certain direction, change topics when things don't go their way, or use guilt-tripping tactics to get you to give into their demands.
Toxic overload can cause a number of changes in your body. In the early stages, your body try to expel those toxins by any means necessary. You may experience diarrhea, sneezing or coughing fits, excessive urination, sore throat, heartburn, nasal congestion or runny nose (from mucus overproduction), or vomiting.
There are generally three types of toxic entities; chemical, biological, and physical. Chemicals include inorganic substances such as lead, hydrofluoric acid, and chlorine gas, organic compounds such as methyl alcohol, most medications, and poisons from living things.
Toxic relationships generally follow three stages: idealizing, devaluing, and discarding. Learn about each of these stages and the impact it has on you.
You constantly try to justify yourself to others. You tend to compare yourself to others and/or feel ashamed of your imperfections. You don't stand up for your needs and/or let others walk over you. You don't take care of your body and feel guilty to indulge in pampering it.
Try deep breathing by simply inhaling and exhaling for a count of five. Inhale for 1-2-3-4-5 and exhale for 1-2-3-4-5. Slowly. Getting some head-space can help to get rid of negative thoughts and leave space for happy thoughts."
You're a toxic friend if you try to distance your friend from others, such as their partner, and if you try to control everything. You might control how you see each other, when you do, what they're permitted to do. You're a toxic friend if you emotionally manipulate them.
Case in point, there are two main reasons why we repeatedly end up in toxic relationships: A wrong concept of what a relationship must be. Our own unresolved emotional conflict.
What does it mean to stonewall someone? In simple terms, stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or is refusing to communicate with another person.
While we are all susceptible to manipulation, if you are insecure, overly nice, or worry a lot about what other people think, you may be an easy target. The reason manipulation feels bad is because it feels like you're being pushed or tricked into something you didn't really choose or want to do.