INFJs look for a long term relationship, most INFJs don't do one night stands or short term relationships. The dating scene now, is more or less for appearance sake which isn't genuine to the INFJ. So the INFJ might wait for a serious relationship while their friends jump into relationships around them.
So, high standards aren't the only reason INFJs might still be single. This next one has to do with their introverted nature. Frankly, a lot of us INFJs wait for other people to make the first move.
#3: INFJs look for long-term commitment
In fact, INFJs are a personality type that takes dating very seriously. From an INFJ's point of view, this all-or-nothing approach makes sense. After all, it can take a long time for an INFJ to trust someone and open up to them.
INFJs tend to fall hard and fast in love and have incredibly high expectations. They also have difficulty finding people that are right for them because they are introverts and don't strive to meet new people or socialize. INFJs can find beautiful, authentic, and genuine love if they work towards it.
Alone time
This is not because INFJs are antisocial. Rather, alone time is as nourishing as food and water to the INFJ. It allows them to clear away the chatter of the world and focus on their own thoughts and feelings. It gives them time to reflect on their lives and process what they've experienced.
INFJs search for meaning and purpose in their lives and in the outer world. They tend to have an immense interest in deeply understanding culture, society, and the universe as a whole. INFJs naturally see how every thought or action could potentially have important consequences, either positive or negative.
INFJs are so concerned with maintaining harmony and improving the moods and emotions of others, that they can leave their own emotions and feelings untended. As a result, they can wind up feeling overloaded with other people's feelings and lost and alone when managing their own.
As sensitive personalities, INFJs feel attracted to people who show kindness towards others. Extraverted Feeling is their auxiliary function, which means INFJs try to connect in a gentle way, and appreciate those who can do the same. Most INFJs also strive to make a positive impact on the world.
INFJs preferring Quality Time and/or Words of Affirmation is also supported by a survey conducted by Heidi Priebe. According to Priebe's survey, 35.67% of INFJs list “Quality Time” as their preferred love language.
Although there are exceptions to this rule, INFJs aren't usually the types who go for flings, one-night stands, or meaningless sexual romps. They are looking for someone who will stick with them through the good and bad and who will want a deeper and more purposeful relationship.
At just 1.5% of the US population, INFJs can be hard to find. Some of us will go our entire lives without running into one! But if you're bound and determined to encounter this, the rare blue diamond of personality types, here are some ways to increase your chances.
INFJs are most likely to marry someone who shares their values and vision for the future, regardless of their personality type. INFJs are more likely to marry someone who values emotional depth and intimacy and is dedicated to personal growth and development.
INFP is the type most commonly mistaken for INFJ, and they use Ne as their co-pilot process. If Signs 1 and 5 are both sound true for you there's a very good chance you're an INFP.
Despite the fact that INFJs are complex individuals who are highly empathic and intuitive, they do commonly struggle with trust issues. These trust issues may be rooted in their private nature, their idealism, their empathy, or past experiences of hurt or betrayal.
INFJs are extremely observant, and it's easy for us to see all the many ways in which we don't fit in with the groups around us. What is much more confusing though, is why we don't fit in. This leads most INFJ personality types to feel alone, misunderstood, rejected, or weird (and not in a good way).
Extraverted Sensing is the INFJ's weakest cognitive function, and that can create some real challenges.
INFJs are easily rattled, anxious and stressed when they have too much to do in a short space of time, when they aren't given time to reflect on problems or when someone is watching them.
At their best, INFJs make modest, reliable teammates, and allow others to take the lead. INFJs may undervalue their own needs, ideas, and contributions, acting overly shy and not taking credit when due. At their worst, INFJs can be excessively submissive, ineffectual, and too dependent on direction from others.
When I surveyed INFJs about their flirting styles, more than anything, they expressed a deep desire to connect emotionally with someone they liked. They will be more emotionally open, express more of their deeper longings, and become more vulnerable with you if they like you.
I always feel awkward around them if they're not my friend. I will avoid them at all costs but at the same time wish I had actually talked to them. If we do get to talk, I'm going to be fighting a battle inside about what to say. I normally end up saying weird and random things I always regret.
The MBTI Personality Inventory
Being an INFJ comes with its advantages, but also its drawbacks. Lovable INFJs experience the same pain, struggles, and difficult emotions that others do—they often choose to do so in secret. This tendency may contribute to depression.
When they're depressed or uninspired, they feel fatigued and drained. INFJs without a vision for the future feel listless and apathetic, as if they're lost in a fog and unable to find a light to guide them home.