Their perfectionism can drive others away. INFJs are perfectionists. Their compulsion for perfection can be harmful to the INFJ themselves, but it can also push people away. The INFJs high expectations can make their partners feel like they are never good enough. In some cases, it's a misunderstanding.
INFJs value authenticity in themselves as well as others. If a relationship—friendship or romance—isn't going well, and the INFJ can do without them, they'd most likely push that person away.
INTP: Pushes Anger Away
“The Architect” type, INTP, will avoid talking to others when they're angry. These personality types will suppress their emotions. Because INTPs aren't great at handling their feelings or the emotions of others, it's easier for them to forget about it, push it away, and move on.
INFJ's hide from people because they are afraid of rejection and afraid of getting hurt again.
INFJs are so concerned about the feelings of others that we often hold ourselves back. We can be reluctant to open up or make the first move in a relationship because we're not sure if the other person really wants to listen to us or really cares about the issues and ideas that are so precious to us.
The INFJ door slam occurs when an INFJ personality cuts someone out of their life. The INFJ isn't the only personality type to cut people out. Other personality types do this to some extent, too, but for INFJs, it tends to be more frequent and intense.
Because INFJs are very careful about who they let into their life, not many people get the opportunity to be a part of an INFJ's life. INFJs are resistant to making friends because they often struggle with trust issues. This is another major contributor to why INFJs have little to no friends.
An INFJ might reject someone because they don't meet all the qualifications they consider necessary for their partner to have. This isn't something the other person can do anything about really. The only recourse would be for them to ask the INFJ why they rejected them.
For example, an INFJ may be turned off by someone who is superficial and focused on material things. INFJs are all about connecting with others and they care deeply about meaningful, authentic relationships. Consequently, someone who is too concerned with money or material objects may be a big turn-off for them.
Because INFJs accomplish tasks quicker compared to other personality types, others tend to view them as overachieving. This ability to stay focused and get things done often intimidates other personality types who find themselves around an INFJ.
Usually, they will get more withdrawn and stuck in their head when they're angry. They might try to shut off noise, lights, or find a room they can hide away in to deal with their thoughts and charged emotions. Some INFJs shut down and stop talking and reacting, trying to sort out their thoughts inside.
Type B personalities can be generally summarised as; easy going, relaxed and highly-flexible. Generally taking a much more carefree approach and wider philosophical view of themselves, work/life balance and other traits which make them less stressed and more widely appreciated when compared to Type A personalities.
INFJs are empathetic, patient listeners and loyal friends, but they may shut down when others push them too far. The Counselor personality has a cold, closed side, and it can be extremely hard to win them back as a friend when that relationship becomes strained.
The famous INFJ door slam
But when you've pushed them too far, taking advantage of their giving nature once too often or badgering them into doing things they don't want to do, they will resort to the INFJ door slam. The INFJ door slam is when an INFJ cuts you out of their life permanently.
Stressed or unhappy INFJs are often tired of trying to make people feel good. They stop caring what people think and about “blending in” socially. In fact, they may feel a sense of relief in laying out criticisms, nitpicking other people's statements, or even starting a debate over the logic of something.
INFJs tend to be guarded about their physical space, except for when it comes to family and VERY close friends. If they're finding excuses to touch your hand, bump up against you, or hug you, then it probably means they have feelings for you.
Reading too much into a situation
INFJs can appear very awkward when their intuition kicks in and they start reading into a situation. For instance, if someone is being sweeter to the boss than usual, you may infer that they are doing it to get ahead at work.
Why do INFJs struggle so much with guilt? For one, we're perfectionists, and I think guilt goes hand in hand with that. There's also our INFJ tendency to beat ourselves up and sometimes sabotage our own wellbeing. And we're often the first to pick apart and criticize our own actions.
INFJs tend to disappear into their shell when they need some deep and meaningful alone, introvert time to figure out their life, thoughts, emotions, and ideas. They also withdraw when they don't feel genuine connections with others and prefer to protect themselves by keeping a distance.
INFJs are energized by working creatively towards a future vision or goal. In turn, they are drained by being in noisy, disorganized environments where they face frequent interruptions to their thoughts and musings. It's especially bad if they are in an environment where there is frequent conflict.
INFJs are no exception to this rule, and when they become overly stressed they may display a dark side that includes angry outbursts, obsessive worrying, perfectionism, or even depression. When INFJs first encounter stress, they start to behave very true-to-type.
Many emotionally damaged INFJs are drawn to other damaged individuals and those damaged individuals (narcissists) are drawn to them as well. Each side looks to replicate the twisted family dynamics each experienced in their childhood.